The Only Reason I Miss Cable

I haven’t had cable in years. Years, I tell you! But there are a few things I miss about paying hundreds of dollars a year for. Like the women. I love how when I write blogs on here its always about chicks. I’m such a nasty bastard sometimes.

Sonja Sohn



This is the bad ass lesbian cop from The Wire. Yeah. This is what she looks like when she’s not putting her knee in people’s backs or shooting folks or getting shot at. I really had no idea she could be this attractive because on the show…she isn’t.

Lauren Velez



I have been watching this woman for decades. I first saw her on New York Undercover then Oz and finally on Dexter. She’s 46 and looks this good. See? There’s hope for all of you!

Kristin Davis



She has a sextape. Seriously, she does. And that made me like her even more. She was the main reason I enjoyed watching Sex In The City. The show not the movies. There was one episode where she was jogging in these tight leggings and…sorry.

Kari



One of the awesome folks on Mythbusters. I loved this show and I loved checking her out on it. She has a kid now. Boo. But still, she was way hot. And oh, so nerdy! Nerdy chicks are awesome by the way.

Anna Paquin



Now, I am actually upset about adding her to this list. She was in X Men as Rogue where she was supposed to be this hot Southern Bell. Her Southern voice was bad and she wasn’t hot. But on Trueblood? She is now hot and has perfected her accent. Go figure.

Rosscast Episode 128: Working Man!

Rosscast Episode 128

The Rosscast

In this episode I talk about being employed, crappy digital television, listener questions, eating healthy and how its a joke, Michael Jackson's crazy ass doctor, bad jokers, soda being bad for you, and crazy ass weather. Click here to download the show or click here to subscribe through iTunes. And click here to follow me on twitter. Enjoy!

Analog Boy In A Digital World

After months of laughing at the commercials for the digital converter boxes I finally got one yesterday. You know the commercials I’m talking about. They have a father and son sitting on the couch watching a game when all of a sudden the TV goes to static and they have this “…the fuck?” look on their faces.

When it was supposed to happen in February I was all “Damn the man!” about it. They had coupons and I applied for one but they said there weren’t enough. They didn’t anticipate that so many people still had antennas. Really? This is one of those things where old people must be furious about. I’m just happy I don’t have to learn how to write antennas again. Eventually I got my coupon but the day had been pushed back even further. I was all happy since once again I was right. I knew they weren’t going to switch yet.

The next date is in June I believe and I still think it wont happen. I’m going to unplug mine when the switch happens to see what goes on. They act like people are going to lose their minds Y2K style or something. I have some extra channels and that’s cool. If I ever wanna watch “Throw Mama From The Train” or "Shanghai Surprise” this channel is always playing them. Like the new choices and for the first time in decades I can watch lucha libre crystal clear. I have like eight Korean channels and feel compelled to learn it just to have something else to see.

As for now I barely have shows I watch weekly. It didn’t used to be this way. I have to see “Lie To Me”, “Better Off Ted”, and “America’s Funniest Videos”, “Jeopardy”, “Wheel of Fortune”, and “Family Guy.” That’s only like three and a half hours of TV a week. I must remedy this.

Rockets.

Random! R-R-R-Random!

Saying "expert bull rider" is like calling a jockey a “professional horse stayer on’er.”

Rain makes the city smell like pee and booty.

Cruisers in West Hollywood love me. I think they smell the “straight” on me and consider me a challenge.

Turning 30 and being unemployed is a bad combination.

Chuck Norris facts make me laugh.

My girlfriend said that I snore. That should be the least of her concerns when sleeping next to me.

I hate the saying “You cant miss what you’ve never had.”

Why is it 2009 and we don’t have metal pants?

I still don’t get obsessions with breasts when thighs are right there!

Skinny chicks nude does nothing for me. As Quagmire says “Not even a wiggle down there.”

Why don’t gang members ever hit their actual target?

Anyone that drives a white van is a rapist, creep, or moves a lot of shit for friends.

Texas knows how to do a high speed chase!

Without getting too graphic, I love the smell of…

Watching safety videos makes me laugh.

That lady that had 8 babies doesn’t wanna be a celebrity or hand outs. So of course she has a site for us to donate to and keeps herself on my TV.

Got my digital converter coupon in the mail.

I made $18,000 last year but still owe $100 to the IRS. How in the fuck that happen?!

My bald spot is growing in. Now I am entertaining the idea of growing my hair for a month.

I found a bucket of laundry detergent under my sink. I am happy.

What would happen if you licked a light socket? Super powers.

When did peanuts get so damned deadly?

I need money. I’m just sayin’…

They just found a bunch of fossils at the La Brea Tar Pits. Is this shocking?

My boxers think that my junk is some strange form of whack-a-mole.

Coffee cleans you out if you know what I’m saying.

Facebook sucks and I don’t know why people use it.

Why aren’t Black folks in lotion commercials? We account for 98% of the sales. The other 2% is babies and chronic masturbators.

Why don’t they show what toilet paper is really for on commercials?

Sizzler is a rip off. Just go to Carl’s Jr.


Why are casino commercials so cheap looking? They have money!