Remember When Wolverine Was Cool?

Remember when Wolverine was the coolest comic book character? The claws. The healing factor. Banging hot chicks. The claws. It didn’t matter that some artist drew him barely over 5 feet tall. You wanted to be this crazy ass bastard. Hell, I own a set of Wolverine claws (and a cool ass Right Fist Of Doom from a sassy Munky)! They are cool as shit and very, very sharp! He was right up there with Batman in terms of how awesome he was. At one point Marvel and DC did a crossover where they created (Amalgam) new characters mixing two. Darkclaw was the idea that came from it.

"I was this close to being cool..."

I’m not exactly sure when Wolverine stopped being cool. One theory is when he got his Adamantium ripped out by Magneto and it turned out that not only did he have claws already, but he began to revert into some kind of animal creature and lost his nose. I’m not kidding. The people that run one of the top comic book companies in the world thought this was a good idea. Have a noseless Wolverine that can not speak and walks around looking like The Maxx on speed. Great idea!

Maybe it was finding out his origin. One of the cool things about Wolverine was that he didn’t know shit about his past. No one knew how old he was. You could just make things up and be like “Logan, that happened…” and he’d run into the forest screaming “Jean!!!” and weeping to himself. His history was cluttered and crazy but it was fine because no one, not even him, knew the truth. Then one day they decided to explain his lame ass history that pretty much went against everything you knew or thought ruled about him. I imagined him popping them claws for the first time and laughing. Or being raised by wolves. Not this whiny little bitch.

Perhaps it was when he finally got his own movie and there wasn’t a drop of blood in it. I’m not kidding. Go and watch Wolverine: Origins again. Though he fights Sabertooth who also uses his clawed hands as a weapon and neither draw blood. In the X-Men films he cried like a little girl when Jean Grey died. He only went nuts with his claws once. Once, I say! Out of three films! This is depressing. So, yeah. Just try to think fondly of those days when you would think of Wolverine and imagine popping your claws in someone’s back and growling.