Starscream Is A Jerk

When I was little I watched a ton of cartoons. If I began to list them your head would explode and then you’d send me a bill to clean your computer and then I would be like “How did you write me, headless complainer?!” In these cartoons I noticed that I tended to like the jerks. On the Transformers cartoon there were a ton of characters to like. But for some reason one of the best ones was that jerk named Starscream. Even his name is jerkish.

Starscream is African for "Shiny death shouter...in sky."

Though he is just a jet plane Starscream rules. I’m not even into planes but when you make them take, have high ambitions, and laser cannons they suddenly become great. He’s always complaining, always running from battles though he is the first to start shit, and constantly scheming to take over the Decepticons. Its no secret that he would kill Megatron if he had the chance.

"Hulk Hogan! We comin' for you, nig--"

And he has! Every time Megatron transforms into a gun whose hands does he land in? Starscream. The most disloyal ass robot ever created! In Transformers The Movie, the real one, not that shit that made millions, when Megatron is hurt he steps on his hands and has him sent into space to die. Then he declares himself king and even has a coronation!

Its all short lived because Megatron comes back as Galvatron and turns hi into dust. Like actual dust. He comes back as a ghost which was really confusing because it makes you question: “Do roots dream of electronic sleep?” or ore specifically “How in the hell do robots have spirits?!” Whatever. That’s how cool Starscream is. He is an unbeatable jerk.

What’s funny about Starscream and his cowardly ways is that he was voiced by the same guy that did Cobra Commander. I demonstrated my ability to do this voice to a awesome ass friend tonight with the help of my cup full of orange juice. I wish I had a little bit more Starscream in my system and less Grimlock.