There are a few things that I don't fuck around with. Sexy thighs, dirt people, food, comedy, and of course...zombies. Now, I'm not gonna hurt anyone over these things. I'll strongly disagree at the most. But this dude named Jared Gurman is on some whole 'nother level shit that makes me question the strength of my convictions. This is because this Williston Park (New York) mofo shot his girlfriend, Jessica Gelderman, in the back with a shotgun over a disagreement about the series The Walking Dead.
“Jess walked into the room and I fired the gun once and hit her. She said, 'Oh my God. What did you do?'” Gurman told police. Using a .22 semiautomatic rifle he jacked up a lung, her diaphragm, and shattered her ribs because this is America and that is a logical response to a disagreement over a TV show. He drove her to a hospital and was arrested. She's still in there with a bullet in her body.
Gurman's lawyer is saying that he didn't mean to shoot his girlfriend and that “the rifle went off accidentally.” He plead not guilty because apparently that's just what folks do no matter what they are accused of. Gurman and his girlfriend who I assume will no longer be have been together for over three years. Sunday night they went out when Gurman felt the need to turn things up to an 11.
He felt that something the army would do could bring upon the zombie apocalypse and all hell would break loose. His girlfriend disagreed and he didn't like that. Shit got so serious that Gelderman decided to stay at her parents home but Gurman was like fuck that and kept texting her. She ended up heading to his home and he was waiting for her with a rifle. She tried to calm him down but we all know how that worked out.
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| Pictured: champion! |
This bastard is obviously nuts, right? You know how many fights I had as a child because I said that KITT from Night Rider was better than Airwolf? And I didn't even watch Airwolf. I just knew that it was a damned helicopter and how the hell is that cooler than a talking car that has rocket boosters. I wonder if she knew he felt so strongly about this shit before she hooked up with him. If there were any signs that he was a few bananas short of a bunch then she should've left after the first date, not after three years.
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Jesus. Talk about a controlling boyfriend. I know a few people who can't stand when their friends have a different opinion to them. It's usually only something small and happens rarely but whenever it does, I feel like saying 'this is how you lose friends, my friend'.
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