Only In Florida 2

People like sex with other people. But sometimes people aren't available so you go to the next best thing: a sex doll. I don't mean one of those expensive ones that talk to you and feel, like, real. I'm talking about the Jenna Jameson Extreme Doll! This thing isn't cheap. It ranges from $300 to almost $600. Ain't nobody got money for that! So you steal it like this dude in India River County, Florida did.

At Inner Secrets adult novelty store in Vero Breach some dude started asking the cashier about the doll. Suddenly, with the speed that only a very horny man has, and took off out the store. The cashier could not give a description of the guy to cops because, honestly, most pervs look the same. Source: working in a porn shop for seven years. Whenever someone wanted to know about something expensive when I worked at the porn shop I always made sure it was in snatching it back distance, by the way.

Also, the high end shit was on the side where if they decided to pilfer a product they'd have to run out the nasty side door, past the counter, then out the front door. Plenty of time to leap over the counter and dropkick them. The doll he stole has the likeness of porn star Jenna Jameson which means it looks absolutely nothing like Jenna Jameson. Those dolls always look creepy as all hell.

Aah! Kill it with fire!

It's described as having a “vibrating, ultra soft mouth.” You know, just like real women. There's is nothing like being with a woman that has an ultra soft vibrating mouth. I always say, if a woman has a nice ultra soft vibrating mouth that she is wifey material. Do I even need to bring up the fact that it also has an “exquisite lifelike removable pussy and ass”? Again, just like a real woman. Now, why would you wanna remove the pussy and ass? Because you made a mess of it, you sick bastard. Right now in Florida there's some guy that stole a sex doll from a porn shop and is washing it off after having the sex with it. I assume he is washing it with tears of shame.

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