Saturday, January 11, 2014

Only In Florida


As you all know by now, I wrapped up the final episode of my show, The Rosscast. On that show I had a segment called Only In Florida where I would cover the crazy ass amount of stories that came out of that state. The end of my show meant the end of that segment. Or did it?! No. It didn't. I shouldn't have yelled. I have continued doing my Bad Parent of the Week in the form of Parents Failing Hard, Shit Just Got Real, Dude What The Fuck?!, and Kids These Days. Now I introduce the continuation of Only In Florida.


Meet Jennifer Feagley. She is a 6 month pregnant 24 year old Florida woman who...wait. She is only 24? Jesus. I mean...whoa. Okay. Moving on. She assaulted her 59 year old roommate (read into that however you want!) Patricia Marson. Can't blame her. Patricia's tend to be the type of women that get attacked by others. Jennifer blamed her attack on her roommate on hormone problems due to her pregnancy. I get that. When chicks are pregnant all kinds of strange and magical things happen to their bodies. I mean, a baby is growing in their body! That is fucking insane! But then I found out why she attacked her roommate.

Hi.

That's right. Butter. Patricia put the butter on the stove which upset Jennifer because Florida. She hit Patricia in the head, knocked her down, and then started going full UFC ground and pound on her ass hitting her in the chest. She then got a cane, don't know whose, and hit her with it. Oh, and she choked her because if you're gonna go full Florida you don't stop at punches. Patricia declined medical treatment because medical care is for babies.

Hurry up, Bugs!

It doesn't end there. Turns out that Jennifer told cops that she has been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder and wasn't taking it because she is pregnant. So many questions! Not saying that just because someone has a mental disorder they shouldn't have kids. Hell, if that were the case I would never have been born. See what I did there?! But that means that she knew when she found out she was pregnant that she wouldn't be able to take her meds which means that the chances of her losing her shit were likely high and if something as small as leaving butter on the stove could set her off then maybe having a kid is not a good idea. Oh, Florida. You're so...spicy.

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