Parents Failing Hard 13

A while back I wrote one of these blogs (click here for that) where I posted a bunch of pictures of mothers taking or being a part of pictures that were just so damned inappropriate. In each picture I would write down what you may see and I'd write down what I see, what you may have missed, and the impacts it'll have in society. Well, not really anything that deep. It just gives me a chance to look at these weird ass people and wonder why some folks bother to have kids.

What You See

Oh, look! There's a girl with her pants down. Yeah, look at them black draws. Sure, she's in the bathroom which is probably the least sexy room in the house, but whatever. Draws!

Parents Failing Hard 12

What happens when you combine the state of Florida and bad parenting? Pimping your child, of course. That was a trick question since there's no other real answer. I wold have accepted incest or cannibalism. Meet 39 year old mother of multiple children but pimp of one Yolanda Ostolaza. She decided that while she was taking a one week trip to NYC for the Super Bowl that she might as well try and make some cash off of her 15 year old daughter.

The family that hooks together gets booked together.

When her dumb ass as arrested she told cops “We came up here to work and make money with a pimp. I knew it was for escorting and prostitution.” Then not satisfied with reaching a level of bad parenting not seen since frontier days she added “I thought my daughter was just going to do the fetish stuff.” Now “fetish stuff” can mean pretty much anything because that is a very vague term. It can mean anything from crushing dicks with heels to being spanked to even...

Parents Failing Hard 11

This story took place in Florida but this is not an Only In Florida post. Bryan Adams 31, not the singer, decided that his son was possessed by a demon and wanted to exorcise him. Don't worry, I'll explain why he got an LAPD style makeover in a moment or two.

Of course Adams has a kid because women just let letting dudes let loose in them. He told his son who is 11 years old “You are the demon and you know what I must do with you.” The answer is not get ice cream. He then went to his estranged wife's job and wanted her car keys because he was seeing demons. She hasn't been with dude because, derp, he has drug issues. If you tell me that you're seeing demons I'd better be reading about you in the bible. Otherwise your ass is either crazy or higher than eagle ass.

Parents Failing Hard 10

You remember that one time you were at school and not feeling well and then all of a sudden this lady walked up to you and smacked the shit out of you? No? Neither do I. Because it didn't happen to us. I mean, maybe it did to you. I don't know how you grew up. But it sure as hell didn't happen to me. It occurred in South Carolina when a kid got sucker punched by a woman because of mistaken identity. I know all about mistaken identity. Hello, LAPD!

A mother of three named Tyshekka Collier went to her son's school because he got suspended. She walked up to her “son” and smacked his ass to the ground before realizing that, oops, it wasn't her kid. She supposedly apologized before finding her real son and then hitting his ass because apparently hitting little Black boys is like eating potato chips. The first kid she hit was in the office not because he was in trouble like her bad ass kid, but because he was sick. Can you imagine that shit?!

Parents Failing Hard 9

I'm all about parents sticking up for their kids. I am. But some parents take that shit to a whole 'nother level and its just not good for anyone. Teri Pallat, 39, of Iowa has a teen son who was being bullied and says that the school was doing nothing to stop it. That's not shocking. Schools tend to not really pay attention to shit like that. What is shocking is the Facebook post she placed stating things like her son would “shoot up” the school and “only get the ones that caused this. He is an excellent marks men.” If she is convicted she can get 5 years in prison for the terrorist threat and 2 for the harassment.

She also went on to write “And they asked why do people shoot up schools well this is exactly why and when our son does it cause I know he will they have nobody to Blame but the administration and I promise everyone he will only get the ones that caused this.” She ended up being charged with harassment and making terrorists threats. She ended up posting $10,000 bail.

Parents Failing Hard 8

This was this missing woman in the news. She, Iya Sloan, had went to a club and after 1am left and the next thing you know she's missing. People were worried because she has two 5 year old twins and from what her family and friends say, she isn't the type of person to just vanish. I wish I was. It'd be cool if I had friends that said “Oh, I haven't heard from Dante in weeks. He must've vanished...again.” But sadly you all are stuck with me for at least a few more years.

This story has a happy ending though depending on what happens next. She was found safe and sound...in Las Vegas. How original. I wonder what possible excuse she could have for abandoning her kids this way. I can take a guess: Dick. She met some dude and wanted to get laid. Or she is tired of her kids and life. When I hear about some people with kids lives I want to run myself. Its like, you come home and they are there. On weekends. You gotta feed 'em. Damn. Its so much. But still. She's an asshole for leaving them like that.

Parents Failing Hard 7

Some parents reach a level of failing that you can only imagine happening in comic books or movies. Take this jackass for example. 22 year old Staten Island, NY resident Paul Marquez look reality in the face and said “I’ll take option B.!” and decided that selling his girlfriends baby on Craigslist would be a good idea. The Munky sent me this story further giving me proof that New York is an insane place where The Warriors roam free!

Paul was apparently upset with the chick he was dating and posted an ad for the baby trying to sell it for $100 with the heading, of course, “Baby For Sale.”

Along with this were details such as “…the baby loved to play and have fun, but had asthma“ and that it was “really getting on my nerves.” Oh, and the kicker: “I don’t want her Please email me.” 

Parents Failing Hard 6

I like going to concerts. Don’t you? Fun. Music. Leaving your kids locked in the car. Wait. What?! Brittany Harris, 25, decided that looking for a babysitter was for squares and decided that nothing, not even having two kids, was gonna keep her from seeing Lil Wayne in concert. So she decided to leave her 3 and 5 year old alone in a car while she enjoyed the show. For three hours.

Last Saturday at the Cruzan Amphitheater in South Florida an employee spotted the kids standing near their mother’s car in the lot surrounded by “intoxicated persons.” No one talks like that in real life by the way. The kids were taken to the sheriffs deputies and around 10:30, almost four hours after the show started, their mother was arrested.

So...how was the concert?

Harris tried to lie at first saying her cousins brought her kids before finally admitting that she brought her kids. Dumbass. She ended up getting arrested, charged with two counts of child neglect, welfare workers allegedly ordered to take possession of the kids, and in jail with $20,000 in bail. What a champion!

Parents Failing Hard 5

We're alive. I know. Shocking, isn't it? As a child raised in the 80's in a world where for a quarter we could buy gun powder wrapped in paper and toss them at each other, toys where the second ingredient was lead, and train tracks were the third highest killer of children we managed to make it this far...and then fuck it all up for these beasts that we call children today. And you know what's to blame? No, not technology. At least not specifically. Its digital cameras.

Back when I was little you had these things called Polaroids. You take a terrible picture, shake it, and then save it as a treasured memory because you only had about ten per pack. Now with digital cameras parents are free to take as many pictures of their beloved child as they want. Or they can hand the camera to them as they pose in sexually suggestive positions. Sounds terrible, right?! Well buckle up your seat belt, Mary, because this shit is only gonna get worse from here.

Parents Failing Hard 4

I think the state of Texas is getting pissed off that Florida has been hogging all the crazy and bad decision making. If you had a kid, let’s say a little boy about 14 years old, and he was shot. What would you do? Surely you would rush to the hospital and get that bullet removed or at least make sure you kid didn’t bleed out. Nope. Not if you’re Deborah Tagle of Santa Fe, Texas! If you’re her you head straight to the internet!

Tagle could be charged with a felony for waiting a while to take her son to the hospital after he was shot because he and his friend decided that guns were fun and something you should be aiming at one another. So moments later he was shot in the thigh because he didn’t have enough holes in his body and liked to whistle when he ran. So he let his mom know and she ran to WebMD to see what she should do.

Parents Failing Hard 3

Cheap parents are bad. Especially ones that don’t pay child support. And especially ones that only have to pay about $150 a month in child support and then post pictures of themselves on Facebook where they are posing with money on their bed. Meet Christopher Robinson, 23, of Milwaukee. He’s also in trouble for posting pictures of himself with liquor as well. He has a 3 year old child that he hasn’t paid a single damned cent towards.

“What we do in these types of cases is we try to find out from other family members whether there is other information we may not be able to know about” Milwaukee County Chief Deputy District Attorney Kent Lovern said. “Facebook has become a repository for information that we may not know about.”

Parents Failing Hard 2

Josh Smith sent me this story a couple of weeks ago. Its kind of hard to title this one Parents Failing Hard when what this mother does rules so hard. Judy H. Viger, 33, was arrested last month for hiring strippers, plural, for her sons 16th birthday. Now, that is ratchet as hell. I fully understand that. But it rules as well! Along the way a lot of mistakes were made that ended with her behind bars and her son wondering what the big deal was. Viger found and paid for these strippers to show up. She’s being charged with five counts of child endangerment I guess because titties are dangerous.

Beffft berfffay efffer!!!

At a bowling alley, yes a bowling alley, her son along with some of his friends were given lap dances. Judging from this picture what I thought were lap dances involve having a stripper have her cooch in your face. Nope. You keep that thing away from me, missy! I bet you’re wondering how this story even got out. How could a night of fun and debauchery for a teen end with a mother arrested? Fucking Facebook.

Parents Failing Hard

I know that I rag a lot on the young ones in my Kids These Days blogs. But its about time for the parents to take some responsibility for these crazy ass youths. Most times the reasons these children are about as useful as a cockring in a female prison is because some adult decided to give birth to something that will grow up doing nothing but steal my oxygen. This is the first that will likely be many of bad parenting posts called Parents Failing Hard.

In Florida of course a mother named Nedra Byrd, 31, decided to let her 10 year old son get shitfaced drunk on brandy. He was found walking around butt ass naked in the streets when a neighbor spotted him and called the cops. They say the boy was so heffed up on the hooch that he didn’t know he was naked. That’s an experience he shouldn’t have for at least eight more years.