Kids Stuff That Ruined Kids Lives

Growing up there comes a time when someone is gonna refer to you as a cartoon character. Most times it is a nice name like Pooh or Sugar Bear. Those are nice things to be called. Other times you get called by a name and the shit sticks with you for the rest of your life. As an adult people start talking about how much they love a certain cartoon and suddenly your ass flashbacks and once again you're on the playground surrounded by asshole children laughing at you. “Leave my teeth alone, Rachar! You're fat! I hate you!” Oh, sorry. Just had a flashback.

When I was little I knew a kid called Gizmo from the Gremlins movie. I can't tell you his actual name for shit. Until I die that kid is known as Gizmo. Know why? Because he looked exactly like Gizmo in human form. Hell, I have two uncles whose real names I don't know.

Be Creative Not A Hooker

I've written before how Halloween is just an excuse for girls to dress slutty. It bothers me. I'm not even exactly sure why. For some reason around this time of year I get this strange ass Puritan state of mind and would love to see women dress as something cool, original, or creative instead of just saying “Here are my tits and ass with paint on them!” and thinking they should get style points for the year. No. It doesn't work that way. The Munky wrote an excellent blog (read it by clicking here) pointing out the nonsense involved with costumes and how women wear them. She's way more hardcore than me when it comes to this.

One of the things that bothers me most about chicks costumes is that it has to be “Sexy Insert Something That Should Not Be Sexy.” Yeah, we get it. Sexy Nurse. Sexy Ghost. Sexy Maid. Whatever. We've seen it a thousand times and its seriously old. Save those get-ups for sex. Halloween is about being creative and/or scary as shit. Don't do what these people don't do. By the way, I'm not even kind of complaining about that chick above. She's too damned hot.