Hot Mama Arrested

Whether you want to believe it or not, when you are a certain level of attractive you can get away with certain things in life more often than someone who is not genetically gifted physically. It also helps if you are a middle aged White woman who can wear the fuck out of some tight jeans. Seriously. That is a thing for me. If a woman can wear some tight ass jeans that look like they were sewn around her I get happy...in my pants. You should probably stop reading now if that upset you because I'm like reverse wine in a lot of ways. And I like women with mom bodies. This is 38 year old mother Brooke Lajiness of Michigan. She went to court a couple weeks back because she is accused of having sex with a 14 year old boy between eight and fifteen times (who's counting?) and sending butt booty ass naked pictures to one another. This began in the summer of last year. Know what I was doing summer of last year? Working and not even close to getting 38 year old White lady ass, that's what. I like her even in court. Not sure I like that shirt and scarf ensemble though. But no make up or jewelry? Tell me more!

Cute Teacher Sexy Time

This 24 year old teacher was arrested for sleeping with a 17 year old student. Her name is Courtney Stewart of Richmond, Virginia and she continues to prove what I say when I say that 24 is too damned young to be teaching. They have not released information about whether the boy was a student of hers or not. Either way 17 year old me is raging with jealousy. 

She was arraigned on March 11th after spending the night in jail. Courtney has a masters in Special Education and Disability Policy which leads me to believe that this was not one of her students. I'm just saying.

She has been teaching since 2013 involving Earth science and biology. She has been suspended without pay after starting teaching at this particular school just last year. The first sexual encounter happened in either late November to December and the second time was last month. 

The school said “While privacy laws prevent us from sharing specific details, we want to reassure our families that Richmond Public Schools takes these allegations very seriously. Incidents of this nature are a direct violation of our district policies and appropriate action will be taken upon a thorough investigation. We appreciate the strong partnership with the Richmond Police Department as we continue to make every effort to ensure the safety and well-being of our students.” Yuh-huh. Sure ya are.

I Went To The Wrong Schools

(editors note: once again Evil Dante will be writing this particular post and none of the opinions expressed by Evil Dante represent the view of no sex having, cell phone shunning, long fingered weirdo Dante)

I'm sick of this shit! When I was a kid teachers were in their early 50's and only started teaching to save money for their cat fund. They had names like Mrs. Webb with her melted fingertips. Miss Leonard with her crooked wig. They sure as fuck weren't 24 years old and just old enough to teach you how to do make up, take a decent selfie, or get away with not having a personality. This is former New Jersey Catholic high school teacher Fatima Grupico. Say her name three times and you'll get a boner!

She taught history at Cardinal McCarrick High School and was arrested and charged with sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child after it was discovered that she was boning a 17 year old student. They had sex when the school was closed due to low enrollment. There is no explanation how she was caught. I always assume that either the boy talked, they sent a shit ton of texts, or a nosy ass parent found out. Either way you can't blame any 17 year old boy from aiming for the fences.

Teacher Shows New Breasts To Students

This 34 year old high school teacher in Virginia named Melissa Kidd is in trouble for showing topless pictures of herself to some students at school. Mind you, this is Evil Dante writing this so most of what I say will be pretty horrible. This is the case when a story involves a female teacher doing something that me at the ages of 7 – 18 would've enjoyed. Yes, I said 7. I never had that whole “Ew, girls!” phase in my life. Well, maybe now I do. But back then no. Now that that's out of the way I'll continue.

Kidd is being investigated for indecent liberties with a child by a person in a supervisory role. That's a long-winded ass way of saying corruption of a minor. This all happened back in March and the police want to search her phone now in May. According to the investigators Kidd showed the students, two of them are 18 and one 16, before and after pictures of her breasts at school. Idiot. You have to know better than to show kids these days that kinda shit. One of the students said that Kidd showed full butt booty ass naked pictures of herself. She was placed on leave after the school found out and then resigned from the career and technical education department.

Florida Woman Florida's Too Hard

One thing that I love about Florida is that when someone commits a crime they don't just do one thing. They pile on charges. And by love I mean terrifies me. 31 year old Amie Carter was walking down a street butt ass naked. So far so good. Then she got into traffic, walked in front of someone's car, and started slapping her bass. Then she decided that wasn't enough so she got on top of the car and dented the hood by stomping on it. Not done she threw her cell phone at another car that was not enjoying her performance. When police came to get her she fought back and kicked her legs around. Lucky she wasn't in L.A. Police here shoot you in the chest to say hello. The police reported that she seemed to be “under of the influence (of) a heavy unknown substance” as well as “in an altered mental state.” The damage she did to the car was around $1,500 and she was arrested for exposure of sexual organs and criminal mischief. 

When looking up a photo for Amie I saw that she had quite a few mugshots. What for? I don't care. She's kinda hot in a masturbate in traffic nude and causing damage kind of way. I also saw pictures of her looking normal and in one she appeared to have on a nurses uniform which makes me nervous. I can't believe that she is 31. I am bad at reading ages, specifically with White people as I tend to overestimate by years. But this chick here is a hard 31. The thing that bugs me about these kind of stories is when they don't say what drugs someone was on or what they drank. I don't want to accidentally combine what they did and end up naked in the streets. Again.

Drunk Teacher Likes To Drink

This is the image of a woman who ran out of fucks to give. 57 year old math teacher Kathleen Jardine lives in the danger zone in a world that involves drinking, driving, cabbing, drinking, teaching, and more drinking. You can just imagine her going “What're you lookin' at, ya sonuvabitch?” Class started at Poston Butte High School in Tan Valley when Jardine started cursing at the students. They called for security instead of filming her like kids these days are supposed to and she was rounded up. She admitted to them that she had been drinking the night before. And the morning before school. Oh, and during the school day because the party don't stop till the panties drop. When her blood alcohol level was checked it was .205, almost three times the legal limit for driving. I point that out because of her actions from the previous night. You know how I mentioned that she was drinking the night before school? Well...

The night before she was pulled over by cops for drunk driving and had her car impounded. She actually took a cab to work because of this, and well, the fact that she was drunk as shit. She has been charged with public consumption of alcohol and can get disorderly conduct charges as well. The school won't say what they are gonna do with her but I suggest party. It turns out that she has been canned for this before back in 2011 when she showed up drunk in a New Mexico school.

Here These Teachers Go Again

Another week another teacher in trouble for boning a student. Heather Lynn Miller, 46 of Katy, Texas, was caught with a naked ass 14 year old boy and because I'm getting closer to being an asshole than a dick as I age I will be completely bias since unlike past teachers that have slept with students, I have no sexual feelings towards this woman. A campus guard caught Miller in a temporary school trailer on a Sunday night by security during a regular old checkup of things which is just ridiculous. She told him that “everything was fine” and as he looked over her shoulder saw the boy getting dressed. “Providing a safe and secure learning environment is and will continue to be our top priority, and we will always act swiftly when that is compromised” the school district lied. An updated story says that the guard now saw her touching the boys junk.

Miller has been put on administrative leave and charged with improper relationship with a student and released after posting $50,000 bond. Some people that know Miller said that we should wait to hear her side of the story. That ought to be fun. Each time people who do this get a chance to speak it never works in their favor. A Pat Trull told reporters “It's sad for me because I know Heather, and I've seen her as a sweetheart that loves her children. Give her a chance.” Loving her own children isn't what's the issue here. Miller has been told by the court that she ca not contact the boy again. One lady asked why there isn't someone checking to make sure these teachers aren't child grabbers. Look. That ain't gonna happen. Background checks will not stop this from happening. I you ask me they should start doing parental background checks before people get pregnant. Robot teachers, man. That's the only way you're gonna ever stop this from happening. And before you ask, no, I do not think robot teachers are a good idea. Those things use human blood for oil.

Parents Failing Hard 12

What happens when you combine the state of Florida and bad parenting? Pimping your child, of course. That was a trick question since there's no other real answer. I wold have accepted incest or cannibalism. Meet 39 year old mother of multiple children but pimp of one Yolanda Ostolaza. She decided that while she was taking a one week trip to NYC for the Super Bowl that she might as well try and make some cash off of her 15 year old daughter.

The family that hooks together gets booked together.

When her dumb ass as arrested she told cops “We came up here to work and make money with a pimp. I knew it was for escorting and prostitution.” Then not satisfied with reaching a level of bad parenting not seen since frontier days she added “I thought my daughter was just going to do the fetish stuff.” Now “fetish stuff” can mean pretty much anything because that is a very vague term. It can mean anything from crushing dicks with heels to being spanked to even...

Parents Failing Hard

I know that I rag a lot on the young ones in my Kids These Days blogs. But its about time for the parents to take some responsibility for these crazy ass youths. Most times the reasons these children are about as useful as a cockring in a female prison is because some adult decided to give birth to something that will grow up doing nothing but steal my oxygen. This is the first that will likely be many of bad parenting posts called Parents Failing Hard.

In Florida of course a mother named Nedra Byrd, 31, decided to let her 10 year old son get shitfaced drunk on brandy. He was found walking around butt ass naked in the streets when a neighbor spotted him and called the cops. They say the boy was so heffed up on the hooch that he didn’t know he was naked. That’s an experience he shouldn’t have for at least eight more years.

Rosscast Episode 222: Eff You Nature!

In this episode I talk about chicks not cooking, work, my hatred of nature and everything in it, the world’s deadliest creature, why I don’t wanna travel, a rabbi feeling folks up, Kotex new designs, and two stories from the Only In Florida segment. Click here to download this and past Rosscast shows. Enjoy!