Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naked. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Only In Florida 10


Heidi sent me a link to this woman in Florida that ran out of shits to give and I think I'm in love. Sandra Suarez, 41, who is a Colombian woman that has lived in Florida for the past 15 years. Video from a local McDonald's popped up online showing her in the establishment wearing nothing but a thong and flashing her glorious Colombian boobs. I have a thing for that country. Never want to visit though. Just admire it from afar like I do most women in my life.

Double double cheese cheese burger burger please.

This all started when she went into a Mickie D's and offered an employee head in the parking lot. He turned her down for whatever reason and as I sit here I can't think of why. I mean, she looks “clean.” Maybe it was her delivery. Either way he said no and she decided that it was clobberin' time! In the video she is pushing registers off the counter. Smashing the fridge door. Slamming her head on the counter. Throwing condiments all over the place. Then she dunked her head under the ice cream machine and downed some of it and then chilled for a few seconds just savoring this strange new land she was currently occupying. She later walks off camera and near the fryer which is good for no one.

A cop eventually showed up and she made sexual suggestions towards him. She was sent to a hospital, charged with resisting arrest with criminal mischief and then released on $7,000 bond. She says that if this whole thing gets to be too much for her kids that she may return to Colombia.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Kids These Days 32


This is gonna be one of those posts where you either shake your head in shame at me or just laugh and go “Oh, that Dante!” This 34 year old chick in Arizona named Keri Gonzalez was busted for boning this 15 year old kid whose name has not been released but who I shall refer to as “Champ” for the rest of this post because jealousy. Full disclosure, I know how bad this whole story sounds. Adults having sex with teenagers is a terrible thing. Of course. But...I used to be a 15 year old boy at some point and if a 34 year old woman made a move on me chances are I would've jumped her. Hell, if a 34 year old tried it now I would...

Nope!

So Champ and Keri were bumping uglies when the boy's mother heard “knocking sounds by the stairs on the wall” and went to check on her kid around 2 in the morning. If you are having sex at that time of the morning its either an awesome surprise, sloppy and drunk, or a police report waiting to happen. The mother tried to open the door and it was locked. When Champ finally opened the door, lord knows why he did that!, mom saw Keri crouched in the corner butt booty ass naked. Keri decided to bail when mom started shouting and ended up breaking her ankle jumping from the window.