Showing posts with label porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label porn. Show all posts

Friday, July 24, 2015

Cop/Porn Actress


This cute ass cop in Miami is in trouble for possibly doing porn while still being a cop. Sabine Raymonvil has said while being investigated that she did it before joining the force eight years ago. I have looked up some images from her films for...research.

She looks better as a cop than a porn actress. I'm not sure how much porn you've watched but Black chicks tend to wear a ton of makeup and only take care of the front of their hair. Next thing you know their weave moves and their roots look like mine. Its not cute and I am rambling. The biggest problem with her besides possibly losing her career because she likes to bang on film and bad wigs is the company she keeps.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Five Things I Learned Watching Porn


This is my 1400th post on this site. Yay! And how fitting that the thing I'm gonna write about is porn. Now, a lot of people say they aren't into porn. They have been labeled by society as “liars.” Yeah, I now there are a lot of folks not into it and say its gross. We call those people “prudes.” I think people who watch porn and hate it had a bad experience. My first real porn experience was terrible.

I had watched bad Playboy channel porn (even when it was scrambled!) and thought that was real porn. No. I was so...so wrong. One day I watched a porn with nothing but Black folks, a new experience, and these people were so greasy and wet. And things were going into places and stuff was coming out of things. Shit blew my mind.

And I wanted more.

So after years of gathering information I wouldn't say I was lying if I called myself an expert on porn. In this Five Things I Learned Watching Porn I'm gonna talk about the five things that stick out the most, and I'm not talking about Lexington Steele. Besides all the hours I've logged personally I also worked in a porn shop for seven years. Yes. It is as sad as it sounds. By clicking read more you give up all rights to be horrified.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Wanna Take A Porn Star To Prom?


There’s this dude in Minnesota that was going to prom. That’s not a news story. What is a news story is that he was gonna go with a porn star! I use that term lightly. If you wanna be technical about it Kim Kardashian is a porn star.

Nothing like tasting your lunch on the way down and up!

Good luck getting that image out of your head. The guy that was gonna, past tense, take a porn star to his prom is Mike Stone. Jesus. Now that is a porn name! He sent out Twitter messages to many people and Megan Piper responded. Here is a picture of her.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Rosscast Episode 250: I Teach The Internets


In this episode I break format and take it old school style and just rambling about things that are on my mind like the L.A Riots being almost 20 years ago, Black people hating bees, getting rid of porn, fighting wolves, saving yourself for a special someone, and a new blog started by me and Camille called rocketsandchicken.blogspot.com. Click here to download this episode and here for past Rosscasts.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Rosscast Episode 231: New Circle Of Hell

In this episode I talk about Megan Fox being a stupid face, rapper X-Zibit stating false facts about planking, NASA finally stopping with their bullshit space missions, a guy stealing blow up dolls, another We Going To Hell featuring Casey Anthony and a mother ripping someone’s nipple off. Click here to download this episode and here to browse through previous Rosscast Shows. Enjoy!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Rosscast Episode 223: Ramblin' Man


In this episode I talk about a guy that was killed by recycling, bin Laden’s porn stash, getting owned by the Kevin and Bean show, cursing, why I don’t travel and where I have been, and why not to shave with Lever 2000 soap. Click here to download this and past Rosscast shows. Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Rosscast Episode 218: Like It Raw


In this episode I babble. I talk about pornos getting sued for not using condoms and why that upsets me, a father putting a bounty out on his girlfriends boyfriend, kids whipping a teachers ass, uncircumcised wangs, and a terrible ass bad Parent Of the Week. Click here to download this and past Rosscast episodes!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Rosscast Episode 191: Don't Bite It















In this nasty ass episode I start off talking about the films “Machete” and “The Expendables” and end up talking about what it was like working in a porn shop for seven years, the opposite of whiskey dick, three things that ruin sex for me, a guy blaming his cat for downloading porn, a guy beating off in Walmart, fetishes I just don’t understand, and other nasty crap. Click here to download this and older shows. Enjoy!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Rosscast Episode 182: Human Juices














In this episode I talk about that black chick that was missing and found dead, stupid things I have done, that Montana Fishbourne porno, comic books being used in school, a conversation I had recently about women, that flight attendant from Jet Blue flipping his top, that chick at McDonald’s fighting because she wanted McNuggets, bad celebrity porn, and oral sex etiquette. Click here to download this and older shows and click here to subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Rosscast Episode 180: Don't Look A Day Over 179

















In this random ass episode I talk about Lindsey Lohan and how she used to be cute, that damned oil spill, Yahoo relationship stuff, violent ass porn, drinking prison coffee, a family living at sea for seven years, and a donkey that was parasailing. Click here to download this show and my Doom Mates shorts or click here to listen to older shows and download through iTunes. Enjoy!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Rosscast Episode 169: Tread Carefully



In this episode I talk about the things I wasn’t taught before reaching puberty, my fun weekend with Alex, The Bad parent of the Week, going to porn sites too often and what happens when I do, a goofy chick being hit by a car and blaming google, why deer go nuts when they enter buildings, and during the break play a cool new track “Work To Do” featuring Dan-e-o and Drake. Click here to download this episode that is a exclusive for this site!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Rosscast Episode 123: There's Only One Of Me!





In this rambling ass episode I talk about the Grammy's stinking, porn being too rough for me, the tooth fairy paying too much, advice for women from men (and me), and I give a State of Dantania address with a list of things to not do anymore (including taking pictures of friends at the club). Click here to download the Rosscast or click here to subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Rosscast Episode 110: Nasty Sumbitch




In this episode that should've been a hilarious reunion between me and Kiyoshi before my program decided to cock it up I talk about Warren Beatty banging 13,000 chicks, porn being way too rough, chicks making sexual rules, and why I dont feel like my real first name. Click here to download this and older Rosscast's. Enjoy!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Rosscast Episode 72: I Likes It Raw!

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It's another listener question episode, folks! This time I talk about earthquakes, wearing your draws on the outside of yours clothes, what I think about chicks that watch porn, and what I like and dislike about humans. I also squeeze in some talk about the porn shop and why I wanted to beat someone over a cookie. Get your click on and download this and older Rosscast's. Enjoy!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Rosscast Episode 70: The Porn Shop

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This episode comes from a chapter in my life where I worked in a porn shop. You'll laugh, you'll cry, maybe you'll vomit. Topics range from crying co-workers, flying Mexicans, and raining toilet water. Hope you have fun listening to my pain. Click here for tis and other episodes available for download. Enjoy!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Rosscast Episode 62: What You Talkin' Bout?

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In this episode I once again answer listener questions! These range from what I think about upcoming movies, Tim Burton, class reunions and if its okay to whoop some ass, what its like to live in L.A, and the state of porn. I also play Dan-e-o's upcoming song "Legacy" from his soon to be released FREE album "Dilla Pickles." Also here's a link to add him on your facebook. Click this link to download this and older episodes. Enjoy!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Rosscast Episode 17: Not Safe For Work!

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In this episode I discuss porno videos, magazines, and as my late brother put it "The birds and the bees and the black eyed peas and gettin' between a girls' knees!" This is not safe for work unless you work somewhere where this is a normal conversation. In which case I suggest you find a new job.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Where Were You When...? (9/11)

Everyone has those stories of where they were when something happened. JFK, Martin Luther King, the Challenger exploding. This isn’t about any of those. This is about where I was when 9/11 happened.

I was at a porn shop.

No, not as a customer. As an employee. I woke up and the TV was on as I tend to fall asleep with it on more often than not. I worked early. I opened the place at 6am every day. I saw that a big ass building was on fire. As it panned out I saw that it was the World Trade Center. I thought, “You have to be a terrible pilot to not miss that.” I finished getting dressed and went to work. I live above my job so that took less than a minute.

I get there and start the day like usual. A customer comes in that never talks and said, “You see that other plane hit the building?!” as he handed me his porno. I turned on the TV that only got reception by using a paperclip and sure enough another plane had hit the building. I knew this shit wasn’t right. I wondered if I would have an early day...

My co-workers ran to the counter giggling and handed me a business card. One of the companies we ordered from had a silhouette of New York and they drew a plane going into the building. Classy, huh? People who had given up smoking rushed into the store all morning buying smokes. This one freak came in and I wanted to smash his face in. He comes tweaking his way to the counter and looks at me.

Are you Muslim?” he asks.

No” I say. “Why?”

You look Muslim” he replies.

What the fuck does that mean? And how did this space case know that the attacks were perpetrated by Muslims? This shit was still happening! They ended up shutting down Santa Monica Blvd. for a while because someone made a bomb threat to West Hollywood’s City Hall. I called my ex and told her to turn on the news. She started crying. She loved those buildings. The day went by with everyone asking if I knew what was happening.

Do you?!” I wondered as they bought poppers, cock rings, and lube.

There are a lot of things that turn me on. Big thighs, red panties, cute laughs, women who read, and chicks that smoke. Attacks on the country has yet to make the list. The day went by pretty fast and it sucked because I was stuck at the counter all day. It was a pretty crazy ass day. I didn’t know anyone in New York so I don’t have any stories of people missing their flights or being in the buildings. There’s just me slangin’ porn while the world collapsed.

Rockets.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

"The Porn Shop Guy"

I was thinking back to when I was on The Adam Corolla Show. I thought I was on a couple of times. It wasn’t until I started looking this up where I found all of these instances. Its nuts. It was fun and made me feel more comfortable about speaking to people I didn’t know in very public settings.

April 11th 2006

A listener calls in to talk to Wanda. Turns out he works at a porn store called Circus Of Books. Adam wonders why you’d call a porn store in a tourist area “Circus of Books”. He can just imagine parents taking their children into that store on vacation and running out screaming.

This started when a co-worker thought that Wanda Sykes was Gary Coleman when he heard her on the air. I told him I was gonna call and tell her. And I did. I repeated what he had said and then asked her if she drove a school bus because I had a driver with her last name that looked like her. She said she drove my big headed ass around. They asked where riding the school bus got you. I said “A porn shop.” That got the ball rolling.

April 13th 2006

Dante from the Circus of Books is on the line. Circus of Books is a porn store over on Santa Monica Blvd. He called in earlier in the week, and now he’s checking back in.

Adam asks Dante if the majority of their clients are gay. Dante says, well, the store is in West Hollywood. So, yeah. They try to convince him to put one of the customers in the store on the line for a Hooters gift certificate. He can’t do it, he says.

You can definitely tell where “Boys Town”, a.k.a. West Hollywood, begins, Adam says. Jump on Santa Monica Blvd. and head towards Boys Town. Start at around Santa Monica and Western Ave., and head east. It’s a real dive. Graffiti everywhere, people selling fruit on the side of the road, filth and garbage all over the place. But head towards Boys Town. You will watch Santa Monica Blvd. Slowly turn into the Yellow Brick Road. It’s as if the gays will never even think of painting graffiti on something, and no gay man has ever once thrown trash in the road.

Incidentally, Adam says, someone should really launch a class action lawsuit against the City of Los Angeles for having not only a city named Santa Monica, and a road named Santa Monica Blvd., but another road named Santa Monica that runs parallel to Santa Monica Blvd. How many people have been fired, how many business deals lost, how much fossil fuel burned, doing laps around that neighborhood trying to find which Santa Monica you need to be on?

They ended up giving me the gift certificates and I still have them around somewhere. I don’t know where they are but I have them somewhere. By this point people that came to the store knew me from this show.

April 17th 2006

Dante from the porn store in West Hollywood has a story. There was this customer that looked like a cross between Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima. He would come in smelling like the oldest fried chicken you’ve ever smelled, wrapped in a wet towel. He looked homeless, but sometimes he would just whip out a ton of cash. Other days, his credit card would be declined for like two bucks.

The customer I was talking about was this guy we called “Overring.” And an overring was what would happen if someone could not afford something and we had to cancel the sale and fill out paperwork. Most of us knew not to ring this guy up in the first place.

April 25th 2006

Dante calls in. He wants to know how to get his brother to move out of his parents’ house. Maverick says, get him to go to college; it’s been the best five years of Maverick’s life. He’s too old for college, though. In that case, you can use a potato gun.

This was Maverick, Deaf Frat Guy, and he had a self help segment. I was asking him about my brother who still lives at home. Just the way a deaf dude says potato gun is funny.

May 3rd 2006

Dante: Birth control pills? They give women bad skin and extra weight, and the women will blame you, because it’s you who are doing the humping of them.

Adam had this segment called “What Can’t Adam Complain About?” My question was birth control and above was his response.

June 12th 2006

Dante from the porn store calls in. They had a great weekend there at the Circus of Books in West Hollywood, due to the gay pride parade. Incidentally, gay pride parades are great if you want to get laid. 300,000 gay guys all drunk and charged up — definitely a great place to get some tail if you’re a gay guy. They put one of the customers of the porn store on the line, who incidentally, happens to be a porn distributor.

They ended up having this dude named Sergei who was funny as fuck. He had a tracksuit and gold chains on and everything. It was so damned funny.

Rockets.