Fucking monkeys. They’re the equivalent of humans in full Floridian mode. Like, if you decided that meds were for squares and the idea of flinging poo and beating the hell out of humans was cool you’d be a monkey. In India seven people got their shit wrecked by a group of monkeys. You know why? Because they made the mistake of thinking that they could be friends with them. You cant. Sorry. They are you on your worst day…and five times stronger.
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| "What you say 'bout my mama?" |
This village in Toddang Pulu in Sidenreng Rappang, South Sulawesi got Rise Of The Planet of The Apes treatment and are being described as a “troop of wild monkeys” as if there’s a troop of civilized monkeys. Even the ones considered civilized will ripped your dick, jaw, and thumbs off if you forget to serve them wine with their lobster. They were said to have come out of the forest that was miles away. Could you imagine what that shit looked like? I can picture the Bane chant as these fuckers came charging out hungry for man meat.
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| "I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge!" |
A spokesperson for the village said that they haven’t messed with the monkeys habitat. I believe them. I think these monkeys just got a wild hair up their bright pink asses and said “Its Thursday and corn is yellow!” and raided a village. You ever see those fucking dudes in Africa that walk around with monkeys on leashes? That’s a thing! Leave the monkeys alone in the forest. Stop feeding them bananas because that’s too close to penis looking and I like mine attached to my body.
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| Eleganza!!! |
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I went to the zoo with my Dad a couple of years ago and he got into a face-pulling contest with a monkey. I was just glad there was a thick pane of glass between it and us.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit though, there's a certain appeal to the idea of flinging poo and people you don't like.
ReplyDeleteI've been around monkeys and apes at the L.A Zoo. Thank god for those damned glass shields. The monkeys didn't even do anything. They just sat there thinking of ways to rip my thumbs off. And don't fling poo. Its the height of lower behavior.
ReplyDeleteI engage in that kind of thing more often than you might thing. (Low behaviour, not poo-flinging).
ReplyDelete