Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Dante Vs. Nature 20


Life isn’t fair. If you’re an adult you know this. We all hope to live to a good age where we’ve spent at least 25% of it doing the things we like and love. We also expect to make it there whole. You know, with all our body parts connected to each other. Sadly, when you toss nature’s bitch ass into the mix things get thrown off kilter. You remember that lady Sandra Herold? No? Well, you probably remember her pet chimp Travis that ripped her friends face off. Yeah. Now you remember.

How you doin'?

The victim, Charla Nash, was recently awarded four million bucks for the damage done to her face. Now when I say that she was damaged I mean that in the same way that I say that space is large. Her face was wrecked! I wont even post a picture of it its so bad. If you want you can Google that shit but I’m not posting an image. Travis ripped off her lips, nose, eyelids, and because nature does shit for funsies ripped her hands off. That’s some mean Mortal Kombat type shit.

Finish Him!!!

Charla went to her friends house to help lure Travis back into the house. This chimp had a history of getting loose and even his mom had to be shot years back after escaping a zoo and wrecking shop. Its in his blood. Now, if you’re a friend of mine and own a chimp, I’m never ever going over your house. Ever. Fuck you. “Hey, Dante? My wild fucking animal that I shouldn’t own is outside. Can you come help?” I’d hang up on you and lob grenades at your house. Fuck you, your pet, and your lifestyle.

Travis had been in commercials and TV shows. He was famous. He was also fed steak, lobster, and ice cream. And human medication. Oh, and he drank wine because a regular ass chimp that weighs 200 pounds and the strength of three men isn’t dangerous enough. Let’s get it drunk! Cops ended up busting a cap in his ass but not before ripping this lady’s face off, biting some woman’s hand and trying to drag her into a car in 1996, and biting a man’s thumb a few years later. I know there are tons of people that own chimps in their normal ass houses. I mean, there’s no way another attack could ever happen right?

Nope.

Click here for previous Dante Vs. Nature.

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