We Going To Hell 2

I need to call this one Dante Is Going To Hell because when I read this story I laughed my ass off. Now, I have never been known to be sensitive to the suffering of others. There's less than twenty people on this planet I feel bad for when bad things happen to them. You can be one of those people that say “Dante, you are mean!” or “Dante, she has a health issue!” and I'll agree with you. But when you are 6 foot 5 and weigh about 400lbs there is a chance that the ground you are standing on will get angry and stop supporting you. She is bigger than most boxers and wrestlers!

Ulanda Williams, 32, lives in Queens, NY. While waiting outside of an Atomic Wings food spot to get out of the rain she needed a place to stay dry. Suddenly the ground screamed “Jesus take the wheel!” and she fell through the sidewalk. She fell seven feet through the ground, kicked someone in China, and help arrived. It is being reported that the ground was hollow underneath which I am having trouble believing because 400lbs.

She's got 4 inches and 180lbs on me. I'm jelly!

She ended up breaking her arm in two places and the fire department had to use a crane to get her out the hole. When the crane has to be brought out to rescue you things aren't going well for you. It also had cargo netting. Picture what it looks like when a shark is captured. “Thank God, they said that my size was the only thing that saved me.” Damn it, no! This is what's called negative reinforcement. Its like when somebody is fat and they get shot and someone says “If they were smaller they would've been killed.” Her doctors should have told her to maybe take a little bit better care of herself. “It happened so instantly that I didn’t even recognize anything. Cement was all over me, debris. They had a bed frame down there, broken pipes and wood pieces. It was a hollow place.”

Just like my soul!

She says that she was only standing there for ten seconds before the ground realized that gravity was a bitch and swallowed her up. FDNY Fire Chief Thomas Jemmott said “She is a very large person, but we were able to secure her and stabilize her and lift her out of the hole.” Maybe this will be a wake up call to her to lose some weight. But I doubt it. Now she'll be happy that her weight kept her from falling all the way into the hole. Stop that.

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