Parents Failing Hard 11

This story took place in Florida but this is not an Only In Florida post. Bryan Adams 31, not the singer, decided that his son was possessed by a demon and wanted to exorcise him. Don't worry, I'll explain why he got an LAPD style makeover in a moment or two.

Of course Adams has a kid because women just let letting dudes let loose in them. He told his son who is 11 years old “You are the demon and you know what I must do with you.” The answer is not get ice cream. He then went to his estranged wife's job and wanted her car keys because he was seeing demons. She hasn't been with dude because, derp, he has drug issues. If you tell me that you're seeing demons I'd better be reading about you in the bible. Otherwise your ass is either crazy or higher than eagle ass.

Maybe a bit of both.

So papa Adams takes his son from his bedroom at 3am and takes him to the woods because that's where you get demons out of folks. I'd like to think that since his mother knew that her son's father was insane that she would've set up some kinda protective perimeters but something tells me I'd be stupid to think such a thing. The police tracked him down into the woods and described what they found other than the fact that its hard as fuck to take someone down that is high.

Okeechobee Sheriff's deputy Leland Schoonmaker said that he “observed Bryan getting up off the ground and lunging at Deputy Hazy. Bryan then turned around and began punching me in the chest with both hands...one wrist did have a handcuff on it and he was swinging it around as he was punching me.” The cops tried to battle Adams and it didn't work. Then they used a taser on him. No dice. They were finally able to take him down with the help of some likely terrified police dogs. Can you imagine being one of these dogs? “You just beat him with your thumb-abled fists and hit him with man-made lightning! You want us to just use our teeth?!”

"I'm gonna grow up and eat crime's face!"

After being arrested Adams admitted to using methamphetamine before the police arrived. Ya think?! I wish there was some good use for that drug other than fucking your face up, making you the most annoying person in the room, and ruining lives. He son was okay and found wearing his pajamas. He only had an injury to his heel probably from trying to keep up with someone on meth which is impossible. When you are high on meth you can run back to the future. Adams was charged with resisting arrest, aggravated battery on a police officer, and of course child abuse. What's fucked up is that I bet that Adams and his son's mother get back together. Women have a tendency to stick around with fucked up men more often and for longer than nice guys that give a damn.

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