People's Magazine has released their
new Most Beautiful Person and as usual I disagree with it. Actually,
last year I didn't have a problem. It was Lupita and she is hot. But
this is supposed to be about the content of their character and not
just their looks. I think. Rihanna got this one year so that can't
all be true. That woman is rotten to the core. This years winner is
Sandra Bullock. As soon as I found out I asked “Is she coming out
with a movie or something?” and of course she is. There was no
other reason to hand this...honor unless she was.
When she was told she won she said
“Real beauty is quiet. Especially in this town, it's just so hard
not to say, 'Oh, I need to look like that.' No, be a good person, be
a good mom, do a good job with the lunch, let someone cut in front of
you who looks like they're in a bigger hurry. The people I find most
beautiful are the ones who aren't trying.” Says the pretty person.
I'm a dick so I translate everything she said to this. “If you are
hot things are easier in a lot of ways. I don't have to be a good
person but if I am hot and nice people will like me more because hot
people tend to be mean. Because they're hot. Also, let assholes have
their way. If they wanna go faster than they should, let them. Maybe
they'll die in a horrible wreck.”
And that “Oh, I need to look like
that” thing she says about “this town” meaning Los Angeles bugs
me. Leave. Everyone that hates being here leave! All the people that
look “like that” aren't even from here.
They come from all over the world with
this cartoon character version of what L.A is and this state that is
accused of being so laid back and all Hollywood chews them up and
spits them out. They stay here and end up waiters or producers mad at
the people that are doing what they wish they were. “Everyone in
L.A is so fake!” If you ever find yourself saying that check out
your own environment.
Oh, are most of your friends working in
entertainment? Do they all have body issues? Are they from
California? The answers are probably yes, yes and no. I was born and
raised here but I won't really talk shit about other states. Well,
expect Florida. That place is fucking insane. But I hear people from
the east coast talk mad shit about California. And you know what? I
don't care. I don't have the same level of anger at them.
Back to Bullock.
The actresses that get this award tend
to confuse me. They aren't terribly good actresses. Paltrow got it
before and she did one movie where she was praised for her acting and
that was 17 years ago. Halle Berry got it and I don't think anyone
can argue that she is good. She's hot but I have never said “Damn,
Halle is killing it!” Bullock has been in movies that I've enjoyed
but it was never really because of her. Even in starring roles she
somehow manages to slip into the background. Plus she has the stink of Jesse James fucking her over a while back that will never go away. Full disclosure: what
really bugs me about this cover is that her face is 80% of it while
two women who have been forgotten about that survived a living hell
are squeezed into the corner with a child of parents that can't stop
fucking at the bottom. Nothing makes sense to me.
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