Sunday, August 20, 2017

Grown Ass Man Tips: Staring

Staring at folks is dangerous. Just look at the animal kingdom. Staring directly at another creature's eyes can end with you being beaten like a drum or ending up on a t-shirt with your start and end date. The same goes for humans. How many post-primates do you know that like to start some shit because they “were looked at the wrong way”? Cut that shit out. There are times when someone looks at me for too long and I'm not sure if I am supposed to fight or fuck them. If I can look you in the eyes for more than two seconds chances are I am screaming inside my head for you to put your lips against mine or we are cool as fuck. Otherwise I look into your eyes, make sure you're not a figment of my sleep deprived imagination, and continue talking. 

And dudes? Chicks don't like being stared at. They also don't like being called chicks. But they hate being stared at even more unless you are good looking. Like, for real good looking. Not that false temporary good looking like I have twice a year when my pubes are on fleek and I'm 203 pounds. We all see how a group of guys will stop talking when a girl passes and just stare at her. If one of them does say something its usually the loud ugly one and he scares the girl away so they can stare at her ass. Its a technique. If I stare at a girl its usually not for a good reason. Things like black draws with white yoga pants or wearing three shades of denim. I live in WeHo and know what its like to be gawked at by a group of men I have zero interest in. If you do stare at people, men or women, be prepared to handle what may happen next. And don't try to look away quickly when they notice your dumb ass staring. Its super obvious. Just get a quick glance and go about your day. Or make up an entire life story about her and how uppity she is because she didn't want any of your musky bikini zone.

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