History of Headaches

I’ve had headaches since I was little. They range from dull, bad, and damned near unbearable. All kinds of things can set it off. It’s usually annoying people that do it the fastest. The jacked up thing is that I’m just used to having aches and pains in my body. I cant remember the last time my knees and head didn’t hurt. Maybe in the early 90’s my knees stopped for a bit.

The headaches suck. Hard. They got really bad when I was 10 or so. My mother thought something was wrong like ringworms or something because the hair on my head fell out in circles in three spots in the back of my head. She wouldn’t let me shave my head bald so I wore a cap most of the time because the shit was embarrassing. I felt like a leper or something. At one point I was taken to the doctor. He checked me out and spoke to me after my parents left the room.

“What does a 10 year old have to worry about so much that his hair falls out?” he asked me.

“Everything” I replied.

And it was true. I used to stress and worry about everything under the sun. I never told my family but I would get nosebleeds as well. Oh, those were fun. I would just be walking around the house and feel it start to build up. I’d make it to the bathroom in time to watch a red fountain spill from my nostrils. They gave me some pills I assume were Prozac or its broke cousin. I took them twice and stopped. I have a ridiculous sensitivity to medications and those things made me feel “off.” That’s the best way to put it. My mother got pissed when she saw the bottle a month later and it was full.

My hair grew back eventually and the nosebleeds stopped. The headaches stayed however. When I was 19 I got some glasses and that helped quite a bit with the headaches. But even then a few months later they were back to normal and acting pissed like “How dare you try to get rid of us?!” To this day I have a constant headaches. Its funny. You’d think that after so many years that I’d get used to them. But that isn’t the case. I still have them and don’t know why. Well, I know why but I don’t know why they are so consistent.

I stress about a lot of shit. Its one of the reasons I try to avoid drama and folks that like it. I have to keep myself at a form of collected calm or else get the shit headaches that make me grumpy. I try not to take it out on others and will just write or read when they strike. I hate when people are going through shit and wanna aim their disgruntledness and others. So if I am not my usual jovial self its likely because I am experiencing a headache the likes of which many people call out from work over. Right now I have a bald spot that has been around for over a year which is the longest i've ever had one. It sucks because this has been the best year and the hardest year for me. I’m just rambling at this point. I need to go to sleep. Take care. Rockets.