Oh, Smell Naw!!!

DETROIT – A federal judge says a Detroit city employee can proceed with a civil suit claiming she couldn't work because of a co-worker's strong perfume.

The Detroit News says U.S. District Judge Lawrence Zatkoff determined Susan McBride has a potential claim under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

The city is asking to have the suit dismissed.

McBride says she's severely sensitive to perfumes and other cosmetics. She says the perfume worn by a co-worker in the city's Planning Department made it difficult for her to breathe.

She says the co-worker also used a plugged in room deodorizer.

The suit says the co-worker later agreed to stop using the room deodorizer but kept using perfume.

Now this, my friends, is an example of the justice system working properly. See, ya’ll might think I’m being sarcastic but I’m not. I am dead serious as I really hate people walking around with strong perfumes and deodorants.

There have been times when a lady wore something so strong it almost made me gag. When I was little my mother blasted me with some when I was walking behind her and I broke out like crazy. I have worn anti-perspirants that made my underarms peel. I don’t fuck around with smells.

At every job I worked at I either had to deal with employees or customers wearing half a bottle of Chanel No. Stank. Its one of those things like “What can I say?” If you tell them they cant go and wash it off. Its in their clothes, hair, and face holes. I actually prefer to smell someone that reeks of cigarette smoke than perfume. Where’s the advocates for second hand perfuming? They are afraid to speak because when they inhale they’ll get bombarded with the hottest new smell, that’s where!

Some people wear that stuff for so long that a lot to them is normal. Its like a drug. “All I need is one more spritz, baby. Come on. Let me spritz myself. Give me back that bottle! All’s I need is one more and I’m going to work. Oh, that feels good. Okay, I’m good. Well, one more wont hurt…”

Susan McBride is my Erin Brokovich. The next time I smell someone wearing a ton of perfume I am gonna start dry heaving all over the place and making direct eye contact. I don’t want them thinking “Maybe he is doing that because of someone else.” No, it’s you. I don’t like being forced to conform to your funky agenda. I refuse to. This is my Civil War. This is my Vietnam. This is my Coke or Pepsi. Taste great/less filling. With or without onions. This. Is. SPARTA!!!

Rockets.