People are as dumb as nature is
dangerous. A 43 year old woman from Mississippi got her ass flipped
in the air by a bison at Yellowstone National Park because she
decided to take a selfie near one. This is the fifth person just this
year to get a taste of zero gravity because for some reason they
think that bison aren't dangerous. You know what I see when I look at
a bison? Angry history. Ain't no bison in Africa. That shit isn't in
my DNA to be okay around them. Black people get tattoos of lions,
tigers, and dragons because those are native to Africa so deep inside
we feel some kind of connection. But not no damn bison.
This lady was standing six yards, or in
layman's terms “Too goddamn close!”, to one when she took her
picture, tasted the rainbow, and got some minor injuries. A district
ranger named Colleen Rawlings said “People need to recognize that
Yellowstone wildlife is wild, even though they seem docile. This
woman was lucky that her injuries were not more severe.”
I don't even want to be in the area of
bison. They look like hell-bears. I'm not sure if hell-bears is a
thing in the bible but they should be because they'd look like bison.
If I saw one of my friends trying to get a selfie with one of these
I'd just find the nearest high spot and wait for the show to start.
Then I'd talk mad shit on the way to the hospital. Don't be stupid.
There are a lot of ways for me to shuffle from this mortal coil and
being cartwheeled by a monster is not one of them.
Click here for previous Dante Vs.
Nature.
No comments:
Post a Comment