A photographer named Martin Le-May from
Essex got a picture of something that is driving the internet crazy.
There are certain things that cause this to happen. A cat that looks
upset, kids high after going to the dentist, a goddamn dress, and now
this image of a weasel riding a woodpecker. How come this happened?
Le-May had this to say about his photo. “I heard a distressed
squawking noise and feared the worst. I soon realized it was a
woodpecker with some kind of small mammal on its back. I think we may
have distracted the weasel as when the woodpecker landed it managed
to escape and the weasel ran into the grass.” That sucks. Who knows
how long that weasel spent trying to catch that bird? If you told me
to catch anything in the hopes of riding it that didn't start with
“ho” and end in “bo” I wouldn't be able to. And this thing
caught a flying creature! Incredible. But it worries me. Why? Because
I'm Black and animals make me nervous. If I can't eat or pet it I
don't want nothing to do with it. Same rule applies to women. Next
thing you know other animals are gonna start teaming up.
Like this! This is something that will
happen soon. Using my Pixlr skills I have combined two creatures to
form God's Last Gift. I present to you...Bear Whale! Whale Bear!
Wear! Bhale! Mark my words, one day these beasts will darken the
skies. You think bird shit on your car is bad? Ha! Imagine what'll
happen when you start your car up and three hundred pounds of poop
cover your vehicle.
Bears will one day make their way to the ocean
and befriend the whale. At first they'll be all like “You're weird,
fur creature of the land” and the bear will be all “You are
strange, elephant of the sea.” Then they will both realize that
they have bonded over the love of fish and the whale will offer the
bear a ride and boom: poops on your car. It can happen. Damn. This
coffee is powerful.
Click here for previous Dante Vs.
Nature.
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