Lane Bryant is a clothing company made
for plus sized chicks or the second category I hit up when I search
for porn. They have a new campaign with a tagline of “Sexy is
defined by EVERY woman, not SOME” along with the hashtag, or pound
sign as those of us over 30 call it, #ImNoAngel.
This is obviously a
dig at Victoria's Secret and the models that they call angels. Why
the fighting between two good things? Its like blowjobs and butt sex
arguing over which is more desirable. I've had to go shopping at each
of these places and I can tell you from personal experience that
shopping at Lane Bryant is not nearly as embarrassing for me. With
Victoria's Secret I was with someone that was looking for stuff while
I stood there practicing my “I'm not looking at any of these
colorful draws on the mannequins, I assure you!” face while at
Lane Bryant I was looking for sweatpants and a shirt for my mother.
Hell, there are chicks that shop at Victoria's Secret that should
check out the selection at Lane Bryant. Hey. This is the honesty
circle, okay? We do not lie here!
And while we are in the honesty circle
let us not pretend that every plus sized chick, or BBW as Pornhub
categorizes it, is built like these chicks in these ads. There are
some girls too big for Lane Bryant and Victoria's Secret yet they
find ways to get into what could technically be called a thong but is
more like a rubberband being stretched beyond its limits. I'm not
saying that to make bigger chicks feel bad. There are a ton of big
chicks and most of my friends think that if you wave a big girl in
front of me I'll start slobbering and clapping like a mongoloid baby.
Wow. How many people can I offend in one post?
In reality there are
big chicks that I consider fucking hot and wouldn't want them to lose
a pound as well as skinny chicks that could benefit from a few plates
of bacon. No one is perfect and there is room for all shapes and
sizes in this world. For every big girl out there there is a guy, or girl, just
waiting for you to sit on their face and tell them that you love them. Be
big. Be small. Just find shit that fits.
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