When I was 8 years old my parents were
taken by aliens. No one believed me and the older I get the less I
believe myself. I mean, I was a kid. I still believed in Santa Claus
and the Easter Bunny...and Dracula, the Wolf-man, and Frankenstein.
I'll be 18 soon and these creatures that have been pretending to be
my parents for the last decade need to die.
I've been studying their behavior all
of this time and while they appear normal for the most part I have
noticed a few things out of the ordinary. They have developed a
distaste for salt and sugars. When I asked each of them why we were
no longer allowing snacks that had them in the house anymore mom said
“diabetes” and dad said “high blood pressure.”
Either way,
crumby food was kept in the house. They also got an aversion to
bright lights which meant the house was now dark. I'm not talking
regular dark. As close to pitch black as you can get dark.
When I first confronted them with my
theory they put me on medication. Adderall, Focalin, Concerta,
Quillivant XR, Ritalin, Vyvanse, Intuniv, Kapvay, and Strattera. All
these did was harden my resolve. My parents knew that I knew that
they knew something was up.
Its easy to get a gun today. You don't
have to even see anyone. You just order them online. And that's what
I did. I had to leave school early for three days to get the mail
before my parents got home. So now here I am sitting on the couch in
the dark waiting for them arrive.
And when they do they better admit
that they have been changed.
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