Do Not Do The Dew!!!

I love hearing about things I never knew existed. Today while browsing wikipedia I came across something new and kinda scary. Its name is Mountain Dew Mouth. Yeah.

If you know what Meth Mouth looks like then Mountain Dew Mouth is its slightly less scary cousin. Apparently in the Midwest this shit is serious. I used to have fucked up teeth when I was little but, God, this is just terrible. Who knew you could drink that much soda? Isn’t there a point where you say to yourself “I should really lay off this shit”?

“A 2001 story in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette reported that Mountain Dew mouth is caused because, ‘Tooth decay occurs when bacteria inside the mouth feed on sugar, producing highly acidic waste that removes minerals from the tooth's surface. That process gets a dangerous boost from carbonated soft drinks, which bathe the teeth in phosphoric acid that slowly erodes the protective enamel.’ Mountain Dew's exceptionally high sugar and caffeine content, which may increase consumption levels, render Mountain Dew particularly likely to cause tooth decay.”

How jacked up is that? All you wanted was a drink and now folks think you’re on drugs because your teeth parts are all shot to hell. On The Handsome Genius Club (its listed as one of my links and you should check it out) the host, Anthony Kingdom James, was talking about Mountain Dew and trying to figure out what the hell its supposed to taste like. I tried that years ago. It’s a waste of time. Its like trying to figure out why grape soda doesn’t taste anything like a grape. If you ever picked up a grape and it tasted like the soda you’d write your Congressman. If Mountain Dew was an actual fruit it would probably have spikes and burn when you bit into it.

This isn’t me trying to start a revolution from my bed. But if you’re drinking so much damned Dew that its making people ask you if you have any drugs then maybe its time to reevaluate your life.

Rockets.