Thoughts On Heaven & Hell Part 2

I have always asked why God didn’t do more in our lives. There are people that look at the sun in the morning and thank God for a new day to live. Then they turn around and get pissed at all the stuff they have to do for the rest of the day. Sometimes it seems to me that belief is very fleeting or something clung to at times of extreme grief or extreme joy. Why isn’t God always on our minds?



This is how I view God right now. Yes, I believe that there is a God. But I believe that God has let His children run wild for too long. We’re God’s latchkey kids. We were created, He sent his kid down to die for all or jacked up ass mistakes that we have made and will make, and then…nothing. We’re left to believe that one day our dad is coming home but so far we’ve been allowed to do what we want. Some of us choose to do bad and some don’t.


We have a group of kids saying “Ooh, wait till daddy gets home!” Another group saying “Daddy ain’t ever coming home, I can do what I want!” And another saying “Daddy never existed. Oh well.” I’m more in the group of “If daddy existed he would do something about this.” Essentially the house is on fire and daddy doesn’t seem to notice. The fire alarm is going off, everyone is trying to run out the house but the windows are shut and the doors are bolted, yet daddy is sleeping.


What will it take for God to finally show up if He ever will? Millions being slaughtered by madmen? Millions being raped? Death camps? People, all human, being killed and harassed because their skin, their fucking skin, is a different color? People persecuted because they are gay? Don’t even get me started on the gay topic. Gotta love how people say God doesn’t make mistakes…except when it comes to the queers. All this occurs daily yet God remains silent.

I keep using my late brother Kevin as an example of God making a mistake. Everyone knows I love my brother. One of the coolest guys I have ever met. Died of a heart attack at 32. Why? Was it because God had different plans? God wanted him? Fuck that. I want my brother. God has millions of people that are willing to die this instant to be with Him. Why take one of the few people on this Godforsaken planet from me? Yes, I am aware of how selfish this sounds. But whenever I look outside and see the same crack heads, same bums, same assholes, same useless as people who are still allowed to walk the planet I get mad. Pedophiles, criminals, crooks, rapists, murderers. Still allowed to walk around freely. Oh, but don’t worry. One day they will be judged.


Fuck that.


I want judgment now. I want to see these people pay for their crimes. Even those that do crime and wrong in God’s name. Punishment now, not after they have enjoyed a long life of wrongness. Where is God to take care of these people? I want a more proactive God in the world. I want wrong handled quickly and effectively. I want God to be like, “Did you just try and rape that child?!” Zap! Why isn’t this happening? We shouldn’t have to suffer through so much bad to get somewhere good. I don’t have to get an arm cut off to appreciate the fact I have two of them. I don’t have to suffer to enjoy the good things in life.


I want to know where God is. Some people die cursing God. Some don’t. If I die without getting saved what will happen to me? Will I burn in Hell? Will I get into Heaven because I haven’t dicked anyone over? Or will I wander through some kinda oblivion where there’s no up, down, left, or right? Or will there just be complete nothing that I wont even experience because there really is nothing after you die?