Shit Just Got Real 1

About a month ago the people at the BART 16th Street Mission Station in San Francisco experienced my worst nightmare come to life when a man who has now been identified as 24 year old  Yeiner Garizabalo aka Yeiner Perez decided that clothing and social standards were for squares and decided to chase folks around while being butt booty ass naked. For any sensitive people out there that want to read up on all the facts and possibly hear about any mental conditions he may be suffering from you should probably stop reading right now. You are obviously new to this blog and think that I do things like sitting around gathering facts and statistics to back up my statements. Ha! Facts are for losers. I prefer snap judgment and mine says fuck this.

There are times in your life when shit gets real. Usually there is a buildup. Someone is arguing and it escalates to the point a knife was pulled. Two people get into a car accident and the next thing you know fists are being thrown. With a dude just showing up unannounced and naked there's no prep for that. Hell, most self defense classes teach you to grab clothing to flip and/or subdue someone. How about a naked guy? You gonna flip him by his dick? Maybe. You want to? No.

This is never okay.

As you can tell from the photo Perez is a pretty limber guy. He was a part of a acrobatic group which explains why he is able to do the crazy shit he does in the video. Oh, yes. There is video of this going down. Click here to be equally horrified and amazed. If you ever wanted to see Cirque Du Soleil even nakeder here you go. He does handstands, cartwheels, splits, and tackling women to the ground with his dick flapping in the breeze. No one needs that stress in their lives.

Those that have known him say that this behavior is out of character for him. God, I'd hope so. I don't ever want someone to ask one of my friends about me and them go “Oh, sure. Dante is the type of guy to strip naked, chase folks with his dick, and do gymnastics in the subway. That right there is pure Dante!” Police are trying to figure out just what to charge him with because being fucking gross and creeping Dante right the fuck out apparently are not against the law.

Yet.

In episode 80 Part 6 of my series Doom Mates I specifically use the power of a naked man to defeat the evil version of me. Yeah. This version is the nice one. Scary, ain't it? To me there is nothing more terrifying than a naked man. Particularly one you don't know. I cant step out the shower without jumping at my reflection. Naked man can be ready to do anything and be ready for everything. His dick is already out. Is he gonna touch it? Is he gonna make you touch it? No one knows!

This guy is finding out!

People are mad that BART officers and the police took about eight minutes to show up. I even saw one dumb ass comment say "The cops aren't standing on the Holodeck waiting to be beamed to the scene of any/all crime at all times." Hey, fucktard. The Holodeck isn't for teleporting. The teleporter is. Jesus. Get your nerd shit right. Perez was released after 48 hours and still free as far as I know. I can only wonder how this will end. Either way I hope they wiped down those turnstiles real nice.

Thanks to SH for telling me about this story.