Fives Things I Learned Aren't Worth It For Me

There are a lot of things in life that people will say are worth fighting for. Family, freedom, wealth, and happiness. But sometimes those things don't exactly line up with your version of happy and the next thing you know people are looking at you as if you're a strange ass weirdo because you don't have the same values as them. In this Fives Things I Learned Aren't Worth It For Me I'll talk about the ones that I think of the most in my own life because this is my own blog. And you can be happy you are not me.

Being In Amazing Shape

At multiple points in my life I had wanted to be in amazing shape. What I mean by this is having a body that looked like something you'd see at the beach and not want a seagull to fly away with it because it was scaring the children. I have been super skinny, fat, in between, and what I currently am (at 201 pounds) not fat but not in shape enough to scare someone if we got into a fight with my dangerous muscles. And I no longer want to be.

I know how I am and if I had abs and then woke up without them I would be mad as hell and depressed. And you know what? Sit ups hurt! Have you ever done one of those things? Oh, lord. Your body starts shaking. You walk around all sore. “But if you keep doing them it hurts less?” No thanks, ya weirdos! Plus for some reason I used to get more ass when I was in terrible shape. I think if I went ahead and got boobs again I'd be too busy getting some stank on my hang low to be writing this.

Working Till I'm Dead

School, college (for some), work, kids, retire, die. That is supposed to be the way it goes but for me in the last six years I have had the luxury of working for four months usually and for the most part its been pretty cool except for when I am poor and staring at my walls wondering why I'm alive. But when I thought I'd be on a path towards a career and a “normal” life the idea of working until I was old and raggedy and hopefully saving enough money to not be put in a old folks home where they throw toilet paper on fire at me while I eat my apple sauce.

I have no idea how my life is going to pan out in the end, none of us do, but I have known for quite some time that I did not want to be old and finally get to take time to do what I wanted during earlier times. Even the concept of retirement is laughable if you watch anything regarding it. I have no desire whatsoever to run this meat starship into the ground and then die because of it. For some of you that life sounds like paradise and I'll never try to stop you from having it. Its just not worth it for me.

Being Someone Else

Too much work! Its so hard trying to be someone else even when you don't like who you currently are. I used to hate myself for a multitude of reasons but over time realized that I wasn't such a bad guy. And whenever I entertained the idea of being someone else just the thought of it exhausted me. See guys treat girls like shit and think “I should give that a try. Nah. Too much pretending involved.” Try to be more social and that made me like people even less. Try new things I knew I wouldn't like in an effort to try something I hadn't before that I knew I wouldn't and it would re-enforce what I first thought. I learned to like being me which makes this a letting you know what I learned within a five things I learned so this is an extra learned...thing.

Take Care Of Someone/Something Else

I was talking to my cousin recently about barely being able to keep my plants alive sometimes. Having a kid or another adult in my life would be far too much for someone like me. I'm what many would call selfish. Not all the time, but when it comes to my own self preservation and time I very much am. I have had people tell me to get a pet which I've had before. I don't wanna. Not just because I'm in an apartment and that is mean to me, but because not only do I have not the capacity to care for a living creature, but it also bums me out when they die. My fish died years ago and it still pisses me off.

As for taking care of someone else I mean that in a friend type of way. I'm not good at making new friends and I know that new people equals new problems. As Denzel Washington said in that documentary Training Day “I supervise five officers. That's five different personalities. Five sets of problems.” I only have enough room for so many people so when I let someone new in its a big deal. But...I can't take on new people that let me know from the jump that there's gonna be a problem. You go bye now.

Shouting At People

Shouting has never gotten me to do anything faster than just get away from you. I have raised my voice in anger twice since I was 18 years old. I grew up in a shouty environment and knew from an early age that it didn't really do anything but create noise or make people feel like shit. I am more likely to just stare at someone shouting, silently judging them while simultaneously planning an exit strategy. I look at the people in my life that I love and one thing they have in common is that they don't shout at me. And they're women. And aren't attracted to me.

If you get what you want by shouting chances are that I don't want to be friends with you anyway. Its just not a nice thing to do to people. I can't even think of someone that shouts at people that I know of that I ever think is a happy person. Its not worth the stress, energy, or hurt feelings that shouting causes for me to do it to someone I care about.

Click here for previous Five Things I Learned.