Saturday, June 2, 2018

Kids These Days 77


I was talking to Cam a few days ago about things that were around when we were little and I thought of the vacuum. Yeah, they still make them these days but not the way they did when I was little. Probably because hundreds of children were devoured by them. My Grandmama had one that had to weigh about 40 pounds and had a spotlight on the front because...reasons. Maybe for vacuuming in the dark or under couches in which case your couch is too damned high if this could fit underneath it. If the weight was not enough you had to worry about all the different components. I also need to point out that it sounded like the apocalypse when it was on. 

Today if the vacuum is full you just take out the convenient compartment and dump it out. Groovy. Back in the day you had to throw out a bag, eat some of the dust whether you wanted to or not, and put on another bag. Simple. But not at all. After attaching the bag you would have to secure it with a black band (which after working in a porn shop realized looked exactly like cock rings) and hope you did it right. There was also a belt that made the brush turn. It was a whole thing that was not fun and I'd wait until someone else changed the bag because I liked cleaning but hated set up.

When I was little a television was heavy. I'm not talking about the small one you kept in the kitchen. I'm talking about the “large” screened one that was in the living room. These were usually about as wide as the one I have which is 32 inches but weighed hundreds of pounds. 

If my TV fell down it would probably break or start glitching. If this this fell it would have exploded. God forbid it actually landed on someone. And when it broke you did not get it repaired. You just slapped a smaller TV on top of it. Why? Because you didn't even remember how it got into your house let alone how to get rid of it! When we first got a big screen TV it had a spot and never left that spot. It wasn't on a shelf. It had no wheels. I can't even tell you what happened to it after we moved and almost 30 years later I will assume it is still there. And in case you're wondering, no, it did not have remote control. Man, when those things were new it became a whole new world...of not knowing where it was. These days you can use locators and such to find a lost remote but back then it was just gone for a while. But at least you could still use the TV. Today if you lose the remote you can't even turn the shit on.

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