People jump on things fast. Clothing
trends. Health trends. Food trends. The food trends is the one that
usually bugs me the most because when people find out about some new
food that is healthy for you they want everyone to stop what they are
doing and try it. The newest thing is the Impossible Burger. I first
saw it at The Counter and had no desire to try it. I am not against
vegan and vegetarian things as much as I used to be especially
considering that Donut Friend is my favorite donut spot and that shit
is super vegan. But I like burgers. I like beef. I have no intention
of stopping even though I know that the way it is made is fucked up
and that the animals I eat make a lot of waste. I know this and am
not changing until I find out that my heart is going to explode
because of my diet. This Impossible Burger has me curious but the
prices of those things alone keep me from buying one. Also the fact
that it is supposed to taste like a burger. I tell myself I balance
things out by not driving, never been on a plane, and barely make
waste.
I know that sounds weird. I won't try
something that is not made of beef that is supposed to taste like
beef. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dante and I am
skeptical as fuck and question everything. Too much. I question
things too much and this burger is something I question. I looked up
some information about this thing because it came out of nowhere. I
want to know what it has, what it does, and who made it. It's not
like they were in the vanishing Amazon and found this plant that
produces beef juices. Damn, that would be awesome. This was created
in a lab much like the beef I'll be eating in the future. Read about
science meat. Sounds horrible but I'd hop on that faster than this
Impossible Burger. The investors of Impossible Foods has been Google
Ventures, Khosla Ventures, Viking Global Investors, UBS, Horizons
Ventures, and Bill Gates contributing millions. I know some people
saw Google and Bill Gates and their butt holes tightened a little.
Scientists working on this burger
discovered a molecule called heme. Pretty much heme carries oxygen
through the blood, gives blood its color, and is found in plants.
This listed ingredients are water, textured wheat protein coconut
oil, potato protein, and “natural flavors.” Also 2% including
leghemoglobin (soy), yeast extract, salt, soy protein isolate, konjac
gum, xanthan gum, thiamin (vitamin B1), zinc, niacin, vitamin B6,
riboflavin (vitamin B2), and vitamin B12. Scary sounding ingredients
but everything sounds scary when you call it a chemical name. One
ingredient that the FDA has an issue with is the soy leghemoglobin
because it could be an allergen. The fact that the Impossible Burger
came out without the FDA's approval and is being sold and eaten by
thousands made people realize “Oh, shit. You can do that?” Turns
out, yeah. You can put stuff out without federal approval. Impossible
Foods did send their product for approval. They didn't get it but
they tried. According to New York Times “The F.D.A.'s approval is
not required for most new ingredients. Companies can hire consultants
to run tests, and they have no obligation to inform the agency of
their findings, a process known as self-affirmation.” The FDA later
approved.
The heme aspect was tested on rats
giving them 200 times the amount in terms of what a human would
consume per day. Hey. Nothing is cruelty free. I know that people
want to eat things and they think that nothing was harmed in the
making of it. Mice, moles, rabbits, ground nesting birds. All kinds
of things are killed by the production of soy, wheat, and all that
jazz. Making an Impossible Burger “uses 75% less water, 95% less
land, and emits 87% less greenhouse gas emissions than
animal-agriculture produced meat.” That's a good thing.
And while heme is a naturally occurring
thing too much of it is not good. Too much of anything natural can
kill you. It can have the same or similar effects of taking in too
much iron which I did in junior high. That was a crazy ass three
months. Passing out. Light headed. Sleeping all the time. Grew three
inches during the summer. Heme iron is found in plants. Non-heme is
found in plants and animals but 40% of the iron in meat consumed is
heme.
It was fun looking up articles about
this burger. They were either super for it and raving or skeptical. I
lean more towards skeptical. I let the world guinea pig shit for a
while. I treat big fads like this the same way I treat things like
laser eye surgery. You all work out the hiccups and maybe I'll give
it a try later. But going back to what I said in the start, I don't
want to try a non-meat burger that tastes like meat. If it tastes
like something brand new that also happens to be good then cool. But
I don't want fake chicken that tastes like real chicken. I'm not
trying to play games with my mouth...which is another reason why I'm
single. There is also a Beyond Burger but I'm not fucking with that
either. At least not yet. Eat what you want. If you eat the
Impossible Burger and it tastes great that is cool. People should eat
good food. Just remember that more plants needed to make this stuff
requires more land. Also, I'm not smart anymore nor a scientist so
don't get mad at me.
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