Time travel. Everyone has wanted to do
it at one point or another. It could be to go back in time and
preserve my toys because years later people your age would want to
buy them as adults for a lot of money. Telling myself to not be such
a wimp and just tell Ruendy that you had a huge crush on her. Go back
to the 1970's and talk some sense into my parents before they had me.
Yeah, I don't wanna go back in time and do anything important that
would change the course of history. Looking the way I look going past
1970 shit gets super sketchy. For real. Let's not be silly people
right now.
I remember years ago during a tour at a
museum the tour guide talked about how smelly Greece and other places
were. How people just tossed pee pee and doo do out their windows. I
didn't believe her because in the paintings things look beautiful.
Then a few weeks ago I started wondering about bathrooms. You don't
understand. Bathrooms are important to me. I have never been camping
because of bathrooms. I will lose interest in a woman based on how
her toilet seat looks when I lift it. I will suffer internal damage to avoid pooping when I'm not at home. I do not play when it comes to
toilets and such so when I heard about how they used to get down back
in the day I was shook.
There was this thing called a
tersorium. Its bad enough having to use the bathroom sitting right
next to people while dropping an ancient deuce. You are knee to knee
with other people growing a tail. That's gross. But then they expect
you to finish up and whip out the communal butt wipe. I mean that in
every sense of the word. See, what you'd do is take this stick that
had a sea sponge attached to it and get to scrubbing. Yeah. After you
were done you would wash it in hot water with soap and let it dry for
the next person. I'm lying. You would rinse it with water and/or
vinegar and salt water and then the next person would turn around and
use it.
And where did all the poop and pee go?
Not some great plumbing system. Nope. People would fill up their pots
with pee and put them into even larger jars outside. So now you got a
great big pee pot just mad chilling outside your house. It would then
be collected and used to defeat enemies. Lying again. They would use
it to wash their clothes. So now you got a society full of people
wiping their butts with a communal sponge and washing their clothes
in piss. You can keep that along with time travel. I will stay in
this terrifying future where I have a toilet only my ass touches and
whatever double ply toilet paper is on sale.
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