The Seven People You Meet On Dating Shows

I've watched dating reality shows in bits and pieces in the past or read about them. Its one of the types of shows I haven't worked on yet and would talk so much trash if I did. The past few months I've been watching more of them and I've noticed certain people that appear on all of them in some form or another. I decided to make this The Seven People You Meet On Dating Shows. I'm sure there are way more but this is my blog and I wanna focus on the nonsense that sticks out in my head.

The Hunger

This person is so desperate to be in a relationship (“I don't wanna die alone!”) that they will accept anything put in front of them. This person is rarely single and will jump from relationship to relationship without pause. They will beat their friends ears wondering why they have such a hard time finding their true love and attack any actual advice that would put them on the right path. Fuck taking the time to figure out what they actually need in a relationship. These people tend to date the same mistakes over and over again. Guy dates a woman that treats him like shit? Woman with an emotionally abusive guy? That Hunger wants more of that as fast as it can get it! There is no point in trying to stop this person and they usually wont change their behavior until after watching the show and seeing what that shit looks like on screen.

The Experimenter

This person is here to try something new. And by something new it may be in regards to their sexuality. Don't act like you've never watched a show and went “Are they...?” Not that there's anything wrong with that. But there have been shows where people have later come out of the closet. Hell, one of the Bachelor's has recently done it! There is not a problem with someone figuring out who they are but a reality show competition seems like one of the worst possible ways to get it done. You being seen by thousands or millions of people. Being asked questions you really don't wanna answer. Freaking out and denying the truth while hashtags are being made about you and evidence of your sexuality appear in photo form on forums discussing the show. Its too much! Yet every month a new show comes on with this exact person on it.

The Lover

Is this person ready for love? You damn right they are! Maybe they have been on multiple seasons. Maybe they will pick someone who viewers know is bad for them because deep inside they know it wont work and they'll get another shot at it. This person finds their true love moments after the cameras start rolling. What separates The Lover from The Hunger tends to be a level of stupidity. The Hunger will run into a burning building because the love of their life might be inside while The Lover will wait outside because one of the firefighters might be it. The Lover will have their heart broken more than anyone else on this list because while they may have multiple relationships in their head they are more invested emotionally than they should to the people they quickly meet. The Lover will end up on another season of a show as the star not another contestant.

The Hater

This one is here because...not sure. They might look good physically but they are just ugly inside and they can't even begin to hide it. If they see someone else making a connection they will insert themselves into the conversation or date. They don't want the other person. They just don't want you to get them. This person will stick around far longer than they should because they know when to show the right amount of body part or flirt just enough with someone like The Lover but knows The Hunger based on scent and will use them for TV time. The sad thing about people like this is that they are so disliked by the public that they end up on a spin off series getting more of what they wanted. Not love but attention.

The Creep

This person (usually a guy but sometimes a sneaky woman) is there to fuck. They are going to try and hook up with as many people as possible. They touching all the butts. Looking at all the breast meats. This person tends to be the first one sent home after everyone gets together and compares stories. They are here just to be a mess and make me go “Ugh...” On one show this dude would kiss women on the cheek to see how they reacted to it. The Creep will hover around the groups of women until all but one wandered off and would attack like a tiger stalking its prey. This guy doesn't get invited to the reunions and will change their social media handles after the show airs.

The Cockblocker

This one is a close relative to The Hater except this person knows that they don't truly want a relationship and are here to make sure no one else has a good time. The Cockblocker on the man side will have a single attractive quality (pretty eyes, good body, or nice height) and on the lady side (good body, very flirtatious) and will use this to disrupt any budding relationship on the show. You will be having a nice time and a massive pair of breasts will suddenly fill the screen or a shirt will for no reason be taken off and all the attention goes their way. The Cockblocker is here just to be looked at. You do not date them. You experience them.

The Perfect

Why is this person on the show? They have a great face, body, personality, career, and goals. So why are they on this circus of a show surrounded by people they shouldn't be near? Exactly. Sometimes they say its because where they live and the slim chances of finding someone. Others say because they are looking for their perfect match. In reality its because they have been married three times by the time they are 30. They have a kid or two. They make irrational demands they do not match up with what they are offering in a relationship. I've seen people with kids of their own say they would never take care of the kids of someone else. Say they don't want someone out of shape when they themselves are not fit. Over time other qualities appear that show how they really are. The Perfect can have The Hater and The Creep hiding inside.

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