Damn, damn, daaaaaaamn!!! Heather sent
me this story and I shook my head so hard that my eyes rolled into
the back of my head, I saw my future, got scared, then returned to
the present. 58 year old Sadie Bell of Michigan shot her 60 year old
boyfriend Edward Lee in the gut because he didn't produce enough man
gravy after having sex. Why? Because she thought this meant that he
was having an affair. Now...come on. She was arrested and has been
released on bond because she's a woman. Assistant Oakland County
Prosecutor Paul Walton said “She was pretty graphic about why she
had shot him. She was convinced he was having an affair. She reached
this conclusion by the fact that he didn't produce enough ejaculate.
So she shot him in the stomach.” An appeal has been made to appeal
the bond. Lee ended up in the hospital for five weeks having surgery
on his liver, kidney, pancreas, and colon.
And why is shooting someone for making
a low amount of salt malt a thing that needs to happen? There are pills and diets guys try to go
on to make themselves produce more and it is never for the purpose of
having children. It is because there are guys in porn that can change
the color of your room when they cum and guys feel like we're
supposed to do the same. There are even fake porn films where a guy
has a giant fake penis and shoots fake population paste! Look. I
don't want to know how to make more of something that can ruin my
life. If I could cum and dust came out I'd be happy. Look like Lebron
James at the beginning of an NBA game or make a chick look like Tank
Girl in the shower.
I wish there was some way to explain to
women that the amount of baby batter a man makes depends on so much
stuff. Sometimes the quantity is surprising to even us. Sometimes we
have to dodge our own man chowder. I dated someone that thought you
could tell if a man was messing around by how your balls hung. The
last thing I need to be thinking about before fucking is how my balls
look. I like to pretend the damn things don't even exist, now I gotta
pull out a ruler or tug on them to make her feel better. What makes
this even worse is that Sadie was arrested for the same damned thing
back in 1991! She shot her then husband and didn't do time because
dude didn't want to cooperate.
There's some legal bullshit reason as
to why she was allowed bond this time that even after reading three
times I don't understand. She should be locked up because she crazy.
Fuck the reason why she shoots guys. I dare a chick to get mad
because I didn't make enough salty sack juice. I'd have to come out
with some woman equivalent to get mad at her about. “You didn't wet
my sheets like you did last night, ya cheatin' hooker!” And do I
even have to point out that Sadie is not the hottest Cheeto in the
bag? When I hear of a woman that gets laid a lot that isn't visually
appealing (two points for political correctness!) I figure she has
one good sexual trick that blows a guys mind. Kinda like when I see
an ugly dude with a hot chick I think he must have money, not be
funny. That funny stuff is a lie. Never believe a woman when she says
sense of humor is most important. Show them a picture of a guy with
abs and he doesn't even need to speak their language and they're
happy. So the lesson today is to make lots of love mayonnaise or put
it where she can't see it. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout.
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