Only In Florida 13

Ew. 42 year old Christopher Mitchell who stands at 5'6” and weighs 450 pounds (32 stone to my foreign readers) was arrested after it was discovered that he was hiding weed in his fat rolls. During a traffic stop police pulled Mitchell's driver buddy Keithian Roberts over because Mitchell did not have a seat belt on. Yeah. I'm sure that's why the initial stop occurred. Mitchell said that he was too big for the seat belt. Police say they both got nervous so the police called in the drug dog. Of course they are nervous! They're Black and live in Florida!

You gon' eat yo cornbread...?

They ended up finding 23 grams of weed in his fat, $7000, a gun, and some cocaine. I don't think the rest of that stuff was found on the fat rolls but you never know. 450 pounds provides a lot of hiding places. Police also found a shit ton of carpet freshener and dryer sheets on the trunk which is apparently used to disguise the smell of weed. Nothing hides the smell of weed. Let me just put that out there. If you get high at work all you co-workers know. You're not fooling anyone. They just haven't told on you yet.

And why hide drugs on the guy that has the worst chance of getting away if a chase occurred? Its like in Snatch when they had Tyrone as the getaway driver. There are always people getting caught doing legal shit because one simple thing wasn't done. Broken taillight, speeding, or like this asshat not wearing a seat belt. And knowing my shame level I think I would tell cops that I got drugs in my fat before they searched me. And what is with the name Keithian? The fuck does that even mean?

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