The Hotness

I was watching Tyra Banks' show (I know…) and they had the topic of butts. There were five women on stage and guys were saying whether or not they had nice butts. I wasn’t a fan of any of them. I have an odd tastes in women. If anything it could be called inconsistent. I tend to love big thighs more than anything else. I don’t care about breasts.

Now, I’m not usually into muscular chicks. I don’t want to run my fingers down your stomach and have to traverse rippling abs. Serena Williams is the exception to the rule. I mean, her ass doesn’t hurt matters. She looks like a superhero.

Jenna Von Oy you may or may not remember from that old show “Blossom.” I had a huge crush on her back then. But the show went off the air and I didn’t see her again until she was on the cover of a Black men’s magazine. I was like, “Whaaa…?!” when I saw how she, uh, grew up.

Selma Hayek I have been into for years now. Yeah, she messed up and had a damned kid but that hasn’t stopped her from looking the hotness. If you haven’t seen her snake dance in “Dusk ‘Til Down” or her in that school girl outfit in “Dogma” then you don’t know what you’re missing.

Stacey Dash is over 40. I should just leave it at that. She has been hot for a long time but somehow manages to get even hotter as the years go by. By the time she’s 60 she’ll just be a beam of sexy ass light!

I got into Michelle Rodriguez when I saw her in “The Fast & The Furious.” I was like, “Who is this…?” I don’t watch “Lost” so all I know about her is from online and finding out she’s been arrested for something. Whatever. She’s still good looking even though she’d beat me up and take my money for booze.

Victoria is a former wrestler. She is also pushing 40. Not that you can tell. She is hot and has been that way for almost 10 damned years. Her finishing move was sick and so was my obsession with her for a while. You will be missed.

Of course there’s Rosario “Why Cant I Quit You?!” Dawson. I got all happy when she left that pretty boy. But then she turned around and started dating some French dude. Not that I’d ever have a chance with her but she seems like a legit cool chick to hang with. It doesn’t hurt she writes her own comic book. What’s hotter than a woman that writes?!

Yeah, I could post a picture of my girlfriend but I dont want any horndogs checking her out. Sometimes she gives me a certain look or just walks a certain way that makes me wanna Shoop.

Rockets.