Thursday, May 8, 2014

How Equal Do You Want It?

“I gotta tell you, I'm envious of women. I'm not saying your problems get solved but at least they're taken seriously. There's 1-800 numbers, there's ribbons, there's groups, people give a shit. Anything happens to a guy, it's just considered funny.” - Bill Burr

Will there ever be true equality between men and women? No. Should there be? Eh...depends on what day of the week you ask me. I was watching some clip from a show where one of the women in the group were talking about that lady that cut off her husbands dick and threw it into the garbage disposal. They all laughed. Now just flip that story. First off you gotta pick something that can be cut off a woman, thrown into a garbage disposal, and laughed about. You think of something yet? Neither have I. Know why? Because the shit isn't funny! Human mutilation can't be funny when it happens to one sex and not the other.

“Gender equality is the measurable equal representation of women and men. Gender equality does not imply that women and men are the same, but that they have equal value and should be accorded equal treatment. The United Nations regards gender equality as a human right. It points out that empowering women is also an indispensable tool for advancing development and reducing poverty. Equal pay for equal work is one of the areas where gender equality is rarely seen. All too often women are paid less than men for doing the same work.”

I have never thought that I was stronger than a woman or smarter. A lot of it has to do with my grandmothers because they were tough as fuck and got shit done with little to no help from men in their lives. I have grown up around a lot of shitty men but I don't take that and apply it across the board to men in general whereas I have personally been treated by women like a man that did them wrong at some point in their lives. I have been around some terrible ass examples of women since I was a kid but that didn't turn me into one of those guys that treats all women like shit. Why? Because everybody is different!

Her mother has recently stated that anyone who
thought there was anything sexual is a "covert pedophile."

What got me thinking about this equality stuff was that picture of 13 year old Willow Smith and this 20 year old guy whose name I can't be bothered to look up right now that's been floating around. Everyone thinks that it is so wrong for a shirtless 20 year old to be even sitting on the bed with a 13 year old girl. And I agree. Shit's weird. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I have issues that need to be resolved. But I can not picture me at that age sitting around with a little girl and looking all chill. If a topless 20 year old chick was sitting with a 13 year old boy people would lose their shit as well, but not as much. It wouldn't still be a headline on Facebook days later. “They're just breasts! Its natural!”

Let me ramble about that for a moment. I hate when people say that breasts shouldn't get guys excited and how in other parts of the world women walk around topless and its no big deal. If you really believe that send me topless pictures. I don't wanna live in a world where seeing tits is not surprising. Let me have that. Let me keep that one thing in my life. You think I wanna be desensitized to seeing boobs?! Hell, no! I'm not even that into breasts but when I see them I smile a little.

Don't steal my sunshine!

Okay, I'm back.

I am fully aware that there are double standards when it comes to things between women and men. I point it out every time a hot teacher sleeps with a young, male student but how a guy that sleeps with a young girl should be killed with rocks. Some women love a shirtless man as much as men love a shirtless woman. No one likes seeing dicks for the most part and whenever I have seen public vagina it has been startling (and/or homeless). Guys hold doors open for women and men while women tend to not even look back when walking through a door which is just rude. Women like to call men out and tell them to “Be a man!” knowing that men have no comeback for that. “Uh...be a woman!” There's no definition for being a woman that everyone can agree on. Go cook? Go clean? Go have babies? Go have sex with your man whenever he wants it? Go not vote? That used to be how women rolled back in the day but that shit don't fly anymore except in countries where my killing with stones idea still occurs. The scary thing is that men won't see women as equals until they can punch them in the face and not get sent to prison for it.

“You know how you know you have lost a fight with your woman? When the cops come in and say, 'Sir do you wanna press charges?'” - Kevin Hart

Men have had it hammered into their heads that they're physically superior. That doesn't stop women from hitting them and being attacked. This is not the cue to start going around and hitting women! Jesus, what are you? An animal? An animal that does whatever I say? What I mean is that men are told that they are stronger than women. Period. Not smarter. Not better looking. Not nicer. Stronger. So when a man loses his shit the only thing he can do is go bananas and hurt things around them. Women, children, furniture, the time space continuum. Society has told him that all he is good at is ruining womens lives and lifting heavy shit. He is killing two birds with one stone as far as he thinks.

“Listen, I was looking in the paper the other day, I'm not not making this up. There's a serial rapist in Houston, there is nothing funny about serial rape but, what is noteworthy about this particular rapist, is that all of his victims, have been men, enjoy your evening. I can't believe you clapped about that. A man raping men in Houston, that's the most gangsta shit, so far, like, like, seven men have already come forward and reported this in the Houston area, and reported this motherfucker, which means he must of raped thousands, cause, that's a tough phone call for us to make. Society don't give a fuck about male rape . There's no hotline for us. A man get raped you have to get up and walk that shit off. 'Got raped, caught me slippin'!' You take that shit to the grave. Couldn't even tell my wife some shit like that. Come in, all disheveled an' shit. 'Hey where have you been, it's 3 o'clock in the morning where have you been?' 'Out fucking another women, just go back to sleep. Okay.'” - Dave Chappelle

When women talk about how bad men are I want them to know that they aren't telling us anything we don't already know. Would you sit with your fat friend and talk about how gross, disgusting, and unhealthy fat people are? Well, if you're an asshole you would. “I don't mean you. Just...other fat people.” So why is it okay to do this with guys? I think a lot of women would be completely horrified if guys started talking to them like they do men. You think your man doesn't talk now? Shit. Imagine if he said the same things to you that he said to Paul at the office.

"Loser makes dinner. For life.:

I think that men and women will never treat each other as equals. Yeah, there will be exceptions as there are with everything. But as a whole? Naw. We got folks on both sides of the fight fucking it up for everyone. For every guy that pulled himself out of the gutter and got a job there's the asshole that has a uncle that hooked him up. For every woman that toiled for years to get equal pay there's that chick with them legs that for some reason never gets fired no matter how much she fucks up. Everyone needs to come to a consensus about equality which will never...ever...happen. You ever try ordering pizza at an office? It's like that by billions. There's always some asshole that wants pineapple on it.

Back when I wanted kids I used to say that if anyone ever told my daughter that she couldn't do something because she was a girl that I'd fuck them up for putting that idea in their head. I think everyone should play fair with one another and just not treat someone better or worse based on their sex. If a woman is doing as good as a man at a job there's no reason she should get paid less. That doesn't even make sense to me. Team People, everyone. 

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