Monday, February 6, 2012

Cool Shit Black People Invented: Charles B. Brooks

I don’t think we appreciate how good we have it when it comes to technology. Like photos for example. No, I don’t think a Black guy created the camera. I say this because I cant even find a damned picture of the guy whose invention I want to discuss.

Back in the day, like way back, people would have paintings that made them look better than they did in real life. Like, if I had a painting I would have eleven rock hard abs and four arms. Because to me that rules. But this isn’t about me and my twisted fantasies. This is about Cool Shit Black People Invented.

Sure, I could’ve just taken a random ass photo of a Black dude and said he invented something. And guess what? You totally would’ve believed me. Hmm. Let’s see what I can think of to try and trick some people.

Dante Ross: Creator of KFP.

You thought that was real, didn’t you? This is about Charles B. Brooks. He created the street sweeper. Yes, that thing that all you drivers hate because you have to move your car a couple days a week to accommodate because the city doesn’t like dead squirrels piling up on the curbs.

Wow...

Before Brooks created this thing people were sweeping the streets using brooms like some kind of goddamn cavemen. Think about the streets back then. People used to just toss poop anywhere they wanted to. Yeah, its in history books.

"I wish some Blacker would do something about this..."

Brooks ended up adding brushes that pushed trash to the curb before lifting it into the truck which seems like a really basic concept that someone should’ve thought of. But they didn’t because people were too busy trying to, like, stay alive.

The future of street sweeping!

And just for fun he created the hole puncher!

You're welcome. 

Yeah, so the next time you have to move your car so the streets are cleaned up remember that a faceless Black man named Charles B. Brooks. Because without him you’d have to catapult your ass into your car on account of all the shit gathered in the streets.

This, also, is a street sweeper. It also cleans the streets. Of life. 

1 comment:

Hazel said...

Ah, we don't have the big trucks you pictured, we have little kiddie versions because our streets are too small for cars to safely overtake a big one. Next time I walk home at 4am on a Saturday morning I will remember to be grateful to the Black man who makes my life better by inventing an efficient way to clean off all the pavement pizzas (post-pub&curry puke) and rubbish on my streets.

I was walking in front of one recently on a pedestrianised street, looking at the ground in front of me and generally deep in thought. I didn't hear the sweeper beeping at me until the driver shouted 'HEY! MISSUS! BEEP FUCKIN' BEEP!'.