What If You Could: Fly?

While watching superhero based films we have no choice but to imagine what it would be like to have one. Recently I watched Chronicle which is probably the best example of the latest movie to make me imagine having powers. Its not like I need this as a reason to imagine myself flying through the air or knocking someone through a wall. I do that anyway. Constantly. They say that men think about sex like a ton of times every few minutes. Me, I think about punching someone so hard they explode about twice a minute.

Miles Daisher getting it right.

Let’s say I get powers. Flying for example. I would never be at home. Mind you, I am ignoring all the scientific shit that people like to mention like “You’d hit birds and planes!” Write your own blog where you imagine yourself with powers that suck. I believe that with this one power I would be able to rule the world.

I could totally fly as a teen.

“How could you rule the world just by flying?” you ask. Because I’m the only person in the world that can do this, stupid. This isn’t like Marvel where 7 out of 10 people have mutant abilities or Heroes where its 9 out of 10. There’s just Dante with his ability to fucking fly around the world whenever I want. Now, I’m not including super strength…this time. Just my regular strength.

Getting it wrong.

How strong am I? Pretty damned strong. Not to brag but--fuck that. I will. I’m strong as shit! To quote my mother after I pushed a car by myself to help my cousin get it started at the age of 12 “You strong like them retarded kids!” Never accused her of being politically correct. Since then I have lifted furniture that would take three people to move and lifted women who thought they were unliftable (new word alert!). I do better when I don’t know how much something weighs.

Damned show off.

I mention this to point out that if I swoop down and want to fly off with a 250lb. man I will. Not in a sexual way. I’m not cradling him in my arms as he wraps his arms around my neck and swoons. But if I need to snatch some asshole off the streets and then drop him from the sky I will. Why? Because he did something bad. I think.

But that good guy shit would last for about two days. After that its nothing but robbery. Not even armed robbery because I can fly so fuck you. I like to think that I would be a good guy if I could fly. But that’s total crap. And dull.