Saturday, May 27, 2017

Best Of Just Talking With Dante/Jasmine Part 2


This is the second installment of The Best Of Just Talking With Dante & Jasmine. Again I had a hard time trimming this down to moments I liked. There are always things that I forgot we said or talked about. Be sure to click here to check out previous episodes of Just Talking With Dante.

Johnny Panic: Street Walkin' Cheetah Part 3 of 3



Mom, Milly in my old highchair, and I sit down and she tries to give Milly a carrot. Milly stares at it the way a cat does a cucumber. It's weird sitting with my mom and a little baby that belongs to me. It's insane actually. A baby came from my penis. My penis! Isn't that mind-blowing?! I know she came from Ronica's innards but still. She started here. Milly finally accepts the carrot from my mom and stares at it, squinting.

“What is she doing?” mom asks.

“I think she is trying to use heat vision” I say.

“Does she have heat vision?” she asks and leans back a few inches.

“Not that I'm aware of” I say. “If she gets heat vision I'm gonna be super pissed. I've always wanted heat vision.”

“No, you always wanted to brown note people which I'll never understand” she tells me.

“You know how cool it would be to make people poop themselves?” I ask her.

“You've told me...”

Friday, May 26, 2017

New Dating/Relationship Rules


This is something I've been thinking about for a while after my last few relationships. I've not been in many as I tend to date someone for a couple of years and afterward stay single for an extended amount of time. The last time I was with someone it lasted less than a month and before that it was in 2013 and that last five months. Before that it was lasting for years each time. That is a little backstory. To go into even further detail just so you know a bit about these previous relationships the races have varied, their heights, weights, origins, occupations, and behaviors. The only thing I can say they all had in common was that they were nice at one point and we could talk.

I decided to create these New Dating/Relationship Rules because people keep tripping and not being honest. Or people are afraid to ask these questions which sucks because it would save a lot of time and heartbreak. These are questions that are acceptable between the first and third date. Skip talking about boring shit like politics and religion. That stuff is important in gathering crazy level data but that is long term thinking. You gotta ask these questions before you get them draws.

Best Of Talking With Dante/Jasmine Part 1


I have decided to start gathering best of moments from Just Talking With Dante with Jasmine as my guest. She is by far my favorite one and every time I've done one of these shows (and before and after which none of you hear) we laugh our asses off. I plan on doing a few of these. It was hard to pick my favorite moments because there were quite a few. Click here for previous Just Talking With Dante.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Dante Vs. Nature 68


See this shit? Its a Flamboyant Cuttlefish. And I don't like it one bit. Makes me nervous and represents everything that is fucked up about going into the water. This type is the only one that walks on the sea floor. Know why? Cause its a fatty fatty fat fat. It can float for moments and then sinks its strange looking ass right back down. There are other fish that walk and I'll get to them eventually (I'm looking at you, red lipped batfish!). These things live nowhere near me which is good for both of us. They don't get much bigger than about two and a half inches which is awesome because when I see weird shit and imagine it larger I just think of that Korean film The Host and I don't need that kind of stress in my life.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Bunch Of Random Ass Questions Part 4


Relationships With Others

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

Most start at a baseline. I am not one of those “You gotta earn my respect!” people. You have to earn my time. I am polite and am accused of having a mother that raised me well. I do the whole opening doors, holding doors, and all that shit. Not to get ass but because it feels natural. But...I have been perceived as rude by people that do not know me well because I tend to not talk to people I find uninteresting.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

My best friend Camille. She is because she is.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

I try to give most people the same amount but oddly its probably my mother. I won't curse in front of her. That sounds more like respectful

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Bunch Of Random Ass Questions Part 3


Past Influences

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Getting hit by a car when I was 7. That event led to a whole series of events that ended up defining a lot of aspects of my life from that day forward.

Who has had the most influence on you?

Still going to have to be my brother Kevin and not just because he is dead and his legend has grown over time. He was actually one of my favorite people to ever exist.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Bunch Of Random Ass Questions Part 2


Growing Up

How would you describe your childhood in general?

I think it was a good combination of fun, violent, ridiculous, and traumatic. I turned out far better than some that have never even had their parents yell at or hit them. Where's my medal?!

What is your earliest memory?

Having my mother take me into the shower and freaking out. I was probably reliving some past life as a civil rights activist getting hosed down. My father say I had to have been less than a year old when that happened. The other is licking the screen on the play pen at my grandmama's house because it was fun to do. I was about 1 years old then.

How much schooling have you had?

All of it except college.

Monday, May 15, 2017

While You Were Sleeping: Gabriel Taye Suicide


Ugh. I have been putting this one out just because it made me miserable to know. This is about a kid named Gabriel Taye that was bullied in school. Unlike a lot of other stories where a kid is bullied and brings a gun from home to school and kills folks this 8 year old ended up hanging himself at home. Of course none of the people that should take any form of responsibility for this has or will. A couple of days before he killed himself he was attacked by another student at school. There is video of this if you wanted to know. This other kid, that should be in some kinda juvenile center if you ask me, shoved Taye into a wall knocking him unconscious.

While he was laying on the ground for about five minutes other kids came by and nudged him, laughed, and even a school official who was right by him didn't notice him on the ground. The school didn't tell his mother, Cornelia Reynolds, that he was attacked of knocked unconscious at school. They just said that he fainted. The case is reopening because after he had killed himself it was treated as very open and shut. The county coroner, Lakshmi Sammarco, requested that the police open this case back up and implied that it could be a homicide. “There's enough information here that we would like to reopen the case to look at whether we need to amend the death certificate. It was very hard for me to believe that an 8-year-old would even know what it means to commit suicide and so I asked Cincinnati police to treat this as a homicide until proven otherwise and investigate it fully.”

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Bunch Of Random Ass Questions Part 1

I found this thing online with a hundred questions. I decided to do it because I am just sitting here postponing writing another blog that is of far more social significance but is depressing so I am dragging my heels in doing it. 

The Basics

What is your full name?

Delvin Ross. If you are reading this you likely already know my middle name. Hell, look at the name of this blog. Its not hard to figure out.

Where and when were you born?

I was born in Beverly Hills technically but I still say Los Angeles, California. I even got a tattoo proclaiming that I was made here. Oh, and in 1979.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

Both of my parents are retired now. They did county work pretty much my whole life. My father is quiet for the most part unless he gets turnt and my mother is loud and tends to not like many people.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

1 Mom 2 Cups

When I first saw this story I was automatically skeptical. There have been so many reports and video of folks getting into fights on planes with staff, each other, scorpions, and dying rabbits. Just too much. But this story confirmed my skepticism after I watched an interview about a Missouri mother of two named Nicole Harper with an overactive bladder. 

She says that while she was on a plane that she had to use the restroom but the staff would not let her. “I get out of my seat to go to the bathroom, the flight attendant gets on the intercom and says I need to return to my seat. They very rudely said that I was not allowed to get out of my seat and at that point I said 'well I'm either going to need to go to the bathroom or you're going to have to give me a cup to pee in or something'.” Ask and you shall receive! I read that in the bible once. Spartacus 3:16 I believe. Don't quote me on that though. I haven't been to church since Obama's first term.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Kids These Days 72

I saw this video the other day and immediately wanted to see this guy get arrested. Didn't care about race, age, location, previous life experiences. Nothing. Just arrest him. This 16 year old kid named Leon Balfour was at a pool party when this 68 (some places say 69) year old lady named Nancy James in North Lauderdale, Florida asked them to turn down the music at a pool party. There is video of all of this so you can see how many people, about 200 of them, are there just making a shit ton of noise. This isn't at a park or club. Its an apartment complex. So while she is there with her two dogs this kid comes up behind her and lifts her off the ground. They fall and she lands on her shoulder. No one steps in to help or stop this. Way more important to film and post it online. Leon then picks up the old lady and throws her into the pool with himself while everyone cheers.

You can say he slipped and dropped her. An accident because he went down as well. But, and this is the important part, he shouldn't have even touched her. This kid had absolutely no business touching this lady let alone lifting her off the ground for any reason. And the fact that he didn't stop at dropping her and then tossing her into a swimming pool makes it that much worse. Nancy suffered bruises on her shoulder and thigh and has been released from the hospital. In an interview she said “No one should ever, ever, ever, ever, have to go through that, you know? It just shouldn't happen. The kid has not evolved yet into what you're supposed to be as a human being.”

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Dante Vs. Nature 67

A few days ago I watched this cool ass special about plants that ate insects and sometimes rodents on PBS as suggested by Camille. While watching all these goofy ass insects I got stuck in a Wikipedia hole and wondered which insects hurt the most when they stung us. The second worse is called a tarantula hawk or as I say “churanchula” hawk. Fuck this thing. Ain't a tarantula or a hawk! 

Its about two inches long and gets its name because it paralyzes an actual tarantula and then drags its stupid body to its nest and lays its eggs inside of the spiders abdomen. When the babies are hatched they eat the tarantula for a long time making sure to keep it alive as long as possible. They are then big enough to burst out the spider because nature isn't scary enough so it decided that you should be walking through a jungle one day, spot a dead tarantula, and suddenly these things come exploding out of its body. Tarantula hawks are known as something called nectarivorous and will eat fermented fruit till they get drunk and can't fly. Yeah. That's just what I thought the world was missing. Flying death bugs that are turnt. They say that the best way to handle being stung by one of these is to just lay somewhere and scream. I'm dead serious. They says its because when you are in that much pain you are gonna be acting eleven kinds of stupid and should just chill the fuck out. And scream. The sting won't kill you but you will just wish you were.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Just Talking With Dante Episode 23


Jasmine is back! We talk about our day of getting Plan Check, a new donut spot, complaints about being in downtown Los Angeles, me talking shit about everyone I see on the street, we lose our minds for a few minutes because of “chocolate mudslides”, a new drug called “pink”, Uber rides, hanging out with ugly people, and why I only hang out with girls. This was one of my favorite shows to record and edit. Click here for previous Just Talking With Dante episodes.

Monday, May 8, 2017

The Devil You Know

I have been trying to figure out how to write this for a while now. Last year someone I've known on and off since I was in junior high disappeared for a while. I'd send him comic book links and nerd stuff on Facebook and he wouldn't respond or see any of them. Fast forward months later and a mutual acquaintance asked if I had heard from him and asked if I checked the sheriffs inmate site for him. I'm glad that the way my life is going no one thinks to do that if they don't hear from me. They just think I am dead. So I check the site and it showed that his bail was set at a million dollars and that he was charged with a felony.

Yeah. Imagine my surprise.

But this was just the beginning. I talked to my mother about this and a few friends about this and she said to call and just ask what he was locked up for. I didn't know it was that easy. The lady answered, I gave his name, and she was like “continuous abuse of a minor.” I said thank you and hung up like “What. The. Fuck.” I told someone else that has known him even longer than I did and he was in shock as well. I told the first person that got me onto this and she was doubtful of the charge while my brain immediately thought he was guilty because he's a guy.