New images have surfaced (get it?!) of what is being called the Loch Ness Monster. I have heard about this thing ever since I was a kid and for years all that was around were either fake photos or that one that's fuzzier than pro-life logic. These experts on Nessy named Peter Thain and Andy Dixon had this to say. “When Andy got in touch at the beginning of the year, we finally managed to locate a device that had the image on it and asked some boating experts to look at it. They confirmed that while it looks like a boat wake, it cannot be a boat as there is no hull or superstructure visible. This is confirmed by the fact that there are clear images of other boats in the pictures.” I love that someone can be an expert in something that has not been confirmed to exist. That is like someone being an expert on my sex life. I am here all week, folks! But really, how many of you wish that this is real?
I don't think I want this to be real. Best case scenario it is just garbage or fake. Worst case its a fucking dinosaur and fuck those things. As cool as I thought it'd be as a kid to have a pet dinosaur the slightly more logical adult version of me just pictures these things running wild. You ever see those videos of when an elephant gets loose? People running, screaming, getting stomped. Now imagine that but ten to twenty times larger. Nope. No one needs that in their lives. If you told me a dinosaur was roaming around in this country I'd have no choice but to move. I don't want a dinosaur to get bored and mosey its ass to Los Angeles. I was just bragging the other day about how delicious I must taste. This sumbitch would make a beeline for my delicious body and start trolling fast food spots for more Dante's because I have such a robust flavor.
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