I don't know if you have heard me bitch
about how difficult it is to find a good consistent barber being
Black and living in West Hollywood. If I had a long beard and wanted
that Macklemore haircut my ass would be in heaven. There are like
eight of them places within five minutes walking distance and I'm not
trying to walk into one of them and have the scene from Blazing
Saddles when the new sheriff arrives play out in real life. So today
I was looking on the internet and came across someone getting their
hair done in a way that should be illegal. Probably isn't...but it
should be. This dude was using fire. Like for real ass fire! My
biggest concern use to be dirty clippers. Now its flames. See, when I
get my hair cut I close my eyes and start singing A Secret Place. But
now I'm gonna be listening for the sound of a can being shook and
butane being lit on fire!
How do you even learn to do this? Its not like one
guy does this either. Turns out there are a bunch of fools out here
cutting folks hair using fire and even more getting it done. How does
one even practice this? Not on themselves for sure. Its been millions
of years and our asses have not managed to tame fire. Fire hurts us
all the damn time yet people are going “I need a haircut and this
seems legit.” No. Don't get your hair done with fucking fire you
freaks. If you are over 30 and doing this you need to get your shit
together. If you are below 30 and doing this you need to go to the
other room and talk to your parents and ask them what they did wrong. I love how fire became the thing. We went from ice buckets to fucking flames. Stop that.
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