Friday, November 18, 2011

Story Behind The Photo 10

A few years ago I went to a Petco in Inglewood where they have weekly pet adoptions. I went because my ex who thought that I was going straight to hell (she probably still does) wanted to go and look at the animals. I worked in a Petco and I hate going to places I’ve worked. But I went because sometimes I like to pretend that I am a nice person. So we go and there’s a ton of kittens and some older cats. The kittens are insane as most kittens are and there were these two cats together. The lady that ran the adoption place told me that they were brother and sister and she wanted to keep them together. I let her know that I didn’t need their life story because I was there to look and not buy. But in reality I said “Okay” and looked at the cats. She said that the boy wasn’t friendly. So of course as soon as I tap his cage he gets up and starts rubbing against my finger.

Dante Answers The Phone

I was sitting at home minding my business when I got a disturbing phone call. While handling one situation another started. Watch and see what happens when I answer my phone.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Batman: Year One

“Nothing harms me. But I know pain. I know pain. And sometimes I share it…with someone like you.” - Batman

When you sit down for a moment and think about it, Batman is a creepy ass character. The look. The voice. The fact that he only comes out at night. There is nothing about the guy that is kid friendly. He’s not gonna climb a tree to save a cat. He’s more likely to stare it down. But surprisingly, Batman: Year One is not just the story of Batman. Its also about Commissioner James Gordon and Selina Kyle aka Catwoman.

This movie is based off of the Frank Miller graphic novel of the same title and sticks about 95% close to the source material. Bruce Wayne (I swear if I have to tell you who Bruce Wayne is I’m gonna box your ears!) returns to Gotham after being gone for years. He knows that the city needs to be cleaned up but is not quite sure how to do it. Arriving by train is Gordon who hates the city and regrets bringing his pregnant wife there from Chicago. Gordon meets his new partner Detective Flass who is an asshole jock that beats people up for fun and takes bribes. Gordon keeps an eye on him.

Meanwhile Bruce Wayne decides to try out some training and heads to where the hookers are. He is propositioned by a little girl whose pimp hits her and threatens Bruce with a knife. Bruce breaks him down like a human Jenga and is attacked by the same little girl he just helped! He gets stabbed and is then attacked by Selina Kyle who is a prostitute at this point. She matches him movie for move until the cops show up and shoot Bruce in the shoulder and arrest him. He gets free after crashing the squad car and saves both their lives. He gets home and recalls the night his parents were murdered and says that he would rather die than wait another for a way to fight crime. That’s when a giant bat crashes through the window giving him his inspiration.

Commissioner Loeb does not like how goody-goody Gordon is and decides that Flass needs to teach him a lesson. They beat him with bats leaving him unconscious. He gets his stuff together and finds Flass leaving a friends house and drives him off the road. Then he beats the crap out of him and leaves him lying naked and handcuffed in the woods. That’s what you get for threatening a man’s pregnant wife!

Later when Gordon and Detective Essen who is having an affair with trap Batman in a building that is being bombed, he hides and waits for the SWAT team to arrive. Batman takes them down one by one before using a new device to bring every bat from his cave to the scene and scaring the bejesus out of everyone. Batman gets away even after being shot two more times. You know why? Because he’s Batman! Selina ends up spending the last of her money on a costume to become Catwoman and gets upset that the press calls her Batman’s sidekick and helper.

Oh, there’s more but you all need to see it for yourself. Thankfully Mr. Soot let me borrow this because as I have mentioned before, DC Comics has the best animated comic book related films by far. The art, the story, and the action is amazing. I wasn’t blown away by Batman’s voice but he got the tone right. His behavior as Bruce Wayne was remarkable. I loved the scene where he grosses out Gordon’s wife by spreading his legs wearing only a robe. Talk about a Bat-A-Wang! Hahaha! Get it?! Oh, you know that was funny.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Rosscast Episode 245: My Neck And My Back

In this episode I talk about stupid dating advice, Kids These Days/Only In Florida that involves kids beating teachers over candy, Bitches Be Crazy with a dude getting stabbed 300 times and a follow up to balls being bitten, and a We Going To Hell where cousins fight over their sexual status. Click here to download this show and here to download past Rosscast shows. Enjoy!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Story Behind The Photo 9

Years ago I used to say that I wanted a giant tattoo like Vega from Street Fighter. I didn’t want anything on my arm or nothing. Just a giant snake that went all around my body. Of course I didn’t get that…or did I? No, I didn’t. Over time I figured that I was over 30 years old and if I got a tattoo it would be my form of a mid-life crisis. Then last year my friend who is a tattoo artist convinced me to finally get one. I decided upon Skulduggery Pleasant, The Skeleton Detective. I love the books and the design and one day while reading it I said to myself “This is it.” I always tell my friend that there is a lot of stuff about tattoos they don't tell you are complete lies in films. It takes a long time to heal. Good places don't tattoo drunk people (booze makes you bleed more). And not all tattoos are completed in one day.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

"Prettier Than You" Episode 8

Pretty Ricky is back and is joined by Dante to answer Njeeeri’s questions. We all know that he doesn’t like her, so how will he respond to nothing but questions asked by her? Watch and find out! Click here to see previous Prettier Than You Shows.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Marvel Knights Spiderwoman: Agent Of SWORD

Oh, Spiderwoman can be the agent of my sword. You know what I’m talking about? Oh, come on. Look at her! That outfit is painted on her body! Anyhoot, Marvel Knights Spiderwoman: Agent of SWORD is a kickass animated comic that I watched earlier and I have to say it was pretty damned cool for all the right reasons. They took a character that I don’t know anything about and didn’t care to since even in animated form she seemed boring as all hell. It took me seeing Brian Michael Bendis’ name to wanna give it a shot and I’m so glad I did.

For those that don’t know what an animated comic is, its taking a comic book and then slightly putting movements in it. There are voices and sound effects and such as well. If you’ve ever watched The Maxx when it was on MTV’s Liquid Television (if you haven’t you’re making teenage Jesus cry) then you know what I mean. It starts with Jessica Drew aka Spiderwoman who believes that she is the most screwed over person ever. Even more so than Wolverine who if you know has been messed over more than anyone in the history of comics. I don’t want to get too much into her characters history but she was replaced by a Skrull queen and had her life ruined.

Jessica gets an offer by Abigail Brand, an agent of SWORD, a job and the chance to find some Skrulls and kill their strange chinned asses. Spiderman shows up trying to help her after she travels to Madripoor to find some Skrulls and it turns out its not really him. She beats his ass and passes out from landing 12 stories onto a car and pounding him to death. She wakes up in jail and has to use her power to make people love or fear her to get out. A shootout occurs and she has to leave with HYDRA. They take her to their base where she interrogates a captured Skrull who when he finds out she is not the Skrull queen he goes H.A.M and she beats him to death before escaping and landing in a fountain. She wakes up in a hospital where she is taken to jail again and escapes once again and is confronted by the Thunderbolts who have been sent to pick her up.

She escapes them and tracks down another Skrull at a bar who beats the hell out of her. I mean in this entire thing she gets beat up about five times. And by beat up I mean beat to all hell. He ends up getting away and transforming into a normal human just as The Avengers arrive. Spiderwoman uses her Skrull tracker and then Wolverine pops a claw through its heart killing him. Spiderwoman and Wolverine sit on the plane heading home and he tells her that they are her real friends and she should trust them. Oh, and he is still the most screwed over person in the world.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Rosscast Episode 244: You Don' Goofed!

In this episode I rag on a child who cant take cyber-bullying, a Dude What The Fuck? update on sperm yogurt, a Kids These Days with a child Incredible Hulk, Bitches Be Crazy with a model playing a prank, and Only In Florida that I couldn’t read without laughing. Click here to download this episode and here for past Rosscast. Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Story Behind The Photo 8

A couple years ago I went skating with my cousin and her nieces. This is the same cousin that took me to Medieval Times where I got stank ass drunk. No, I was not drunk on skates. God, that would be a disaster just waiting to happen. I had not been on skates since I was like 6 or 7 and even then they weren’t mine and I wasn’t any good. I’m sure my big ass feet didn’t help this situation. We went to World On Wheels for this and it was one of those situations that made me question my judgment. As soon as I stepped in there and saw people flying around at the speed of Kenyans I decided that I wasn’t skating. Then I put on the skates and took one step to confirm this. My cousin was like “Boy, come on!