Wednesday, August 26, 2015

What People Care About This Week: Live WDBJ Killings

People are going to be talking about this for the next few days so I felt that I should write about it. Recently at work someone asked me if I had heard about the Paris train attack and I said no. When asked why I said “I try my best to choose what I absorb.” What I mean by that is I barely watch the news, don't care much for world issues, and the only things that I pick up on are from social media or friends telling me. I'm comfortably ignorant. I know some people will read that and sigh or feel bad for me. Don't. This is a nice place to be. This post will be about a shooting that was aired on live television. You probably shouldn't keep reading this if you're sensitive. 

During a live on the scene broadcast at 6:45am WDBJ reporter Alison Parker who was 24 years old and 27 year old cameraman Adam Ward a former employee of the news station Bryce Williams aka Lester Flanagan walked up and shot and killed them. The lady being interviewed, Vicki Gardner, was shot in the back and as of this writing in surgery. Ward's fiancee was in the control room when this happened and saw him shot.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Tale Of A Thirsty Counselor

When I first saw this story I could not believe how thirsty this teacher was. In most stories I write about with a teacher getting buck wild with a student my 16 year old self gets incredibly jealous at the fact that so much action was going down in school while I stood around staring at the walls wondering why I wasn't getting some stank on my hang low. This is not one of those stories of jealousy. This is about 40 year old college prep counselor/swim coach Emily Fenney and her getting fired for chasing after a 16 year old high school student who didn't want anything to do with her.

Police started investigating Feeney about three months ago after they were told about the fact that she was participating in some thirst based texts to a 16 year old. Fenney is a Harvard graduate that told this kid that she had connections and could help him get onto the swim team at Harvard if he would just give up the goods. She started sending him pictures of her that I'm sure she thought were sexy and even a topless one. Ladies, here's a pro tip for you: if you send a straight male of any age a topless picture and he doesn't respond immediately do not continue pursuit. Hell, if a woman sends me a picture of her calf I'm ready to put a well sized hole in my screen.

Dante Vs. Nature 56

Hey, you wanna swim with a tiger for just $200? You do? Okay, jackass. Have at it. This place in Florida called Wild Things has a new attraction called “Swim With A Tiger” where you can bake cookies and learn about tigers in their natural environment. I'm kidding. Your dumb ass can swim in a pool with a tethered tiger. You can also pose with them so your friends and family can know what you used to look like. 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Dante Vs. Nature 55

Hahaha! Stupid bear! This guy in Idaho named Doug Harder who also happens to have the best porn name ever took this picture of this stupid bear getting his head stuck in his cat door. Reports speculate that the bear was looking for food. Maybe it was looking for some good conversation. Of course it was looking for food and by food I mean people. Harder came home from vacation and found his condo wrecked. A bar got in through the sliding door and ate some brownie mix, a can of Pepsi, and a Toblerone bar. Pepsi? Ew! Kill it! Then it took a mean shit in his living room.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

New Dresser

I ordered a dresser online from Walmart last week and got it today. Stupid me I thought that it would be really easy to put together because the people online said it was. It was easy in theory. If I had a screwdriver that was made for my big ass hands or a power drill it would have been done in an hour. But combined with the heat and just not sleeping properly and hating everything I could see for a few days it was harder than it needed to be.

I gutted my closet last week by getting rid of three garbage bags worth of clothes, a ton of random nonsense, and a very large dresser I didn't need. I had wanted to get rid of it for years and just kept putting it off and working around it. I'm happy with how much more space I have and that my closet is cleaner. I've never been someone that held on to a lot of things for no reason so throwing things away is easy for me. It also helps I moved so much growing up so I can't get too attached to physical things.  

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Grown Ass Man Tips: Cheating

There is a line in an old Dr. Dre song where he says “If its your ho in my ride then its your ho you check.” In layman's terms it means “If your girlfriend is in my car and you have a problem with it take it up with her because I am not the problem.” I have always liked that line but as I get older I appreciate it more for its efficiency in so few words. There are a lot of people that get upset that their lover or whatever is with someone else messing around and get mad at the person they are messing around with. Hell, there have been hundreds of movies, TV shows, and songs dedicated to someone getting revenge because of this. To those that say they would never cheat I'll wait for you to get back to me after you finally do. If you haven't been cheated on welcome to the world of dating or you just never found out. 

I've been cheated on twice...that I know of. Could've been more. But I didn't get mad at the guy she messed with (or girl in one case) because I wasn't dating them. I wasn't going to do was go on a rampage. I just went in both cases “I hope I was worth it” and left it there. Obviously I wasn't fulfilling some need they had or they had the chance and took it. Most people will not turn down some strange when they are in the mood for it or the strange they get at home isn't any good. So if you are being cheated on there is a good chance that your significant other is not happy with you. If you are the cheater chances are you're not happy. Either way deal with that shit. Just don't get caught. Or be in an open relationship. I can't do that (fear of booty cooties) but I hear it works great for others. 

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