Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Too Chunky To Cheer?

You show me a woman without issues with their body and I'll show you a toddler. I know its hard to be a chick and have assholes like me calling you a chick. Well, saying woman takes too long and you have to be above the age of 30 and have form of self respect for me to use that term seriously anyway. Plus, saying chick rules. There's this cheerleader for Oklahoma City Thunder named Kelsey Williams that has been blasted by a writer for suggesting she may be “too chunky” to cheer.

“Williams has been criticized by some folks in Oklahoma for having 'pudginess' around her waistline. Is this chick 'too chunky' to be a cheerleader?” the writer, Claire Crawford who is a blogger and whose opinion matters just about as much as mine added “But if she's comfortable wearing that tiny outfit and dancing for NBA fans, then good for her” Crawford said. “Besides...not every man likes women to be toothpick skinny.”

Friday, April 26, 2013

Dante Saves You: Doomed Mission Edition

We all like to think that we are heroes. We like to believe that if there were some major shit going down that we would place our hand on someone’s shoulder from behind and step in front of everyone and take charge of the situation. So many great stories start with someone giving the thumbs up or saying “I got this” and saving the day. But in real life? Nope. Pants change colors and cheeks get wet.

No matter how much of a badass we think we are, sometimes we get sent on missions that have a success rate of ass. So I will try and teach you how to make it out alive in this Doomed Mission Edition. The good thing about these types of missions is that there will be about five people that you can use as shields to ensure your survival. Usually the Blacker. Hey! I didn’t make the rules.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Rosscast Episode 278: Don't You Know Who I Am?

In this episode I talk about Cinnamon Toast Crunch nightmares, my busy weekend, Game of Thrones, Dr. Who, falling in love, combative hobos, Black people loving the back of the bus, and a Bitches Be Crazy featuring a drunk Reese Witherspoon. Click here to check out this and past Rosscast Shows. Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Rosscast Episode 277: Lap Nap

In this episode I talk about my awesome new bed, a We Going To Hell featuring people having public sex on Easter, and two Only In Florida with a kid abusing 911 and an old ass man being the leader of a drug ring. Click here to download this and previous Rosscast Shows. Click here to follow me on Twitter. Enjoy!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Dante Vs. Nature 25

We all know that cartoons lie to us. Skunks aren’t French serial sexual assaulters, pigs don’t stutter, and if you put a wig and lipstick on a rabbit the only thing that will happen are protests, not a boner. There are some animals from classic Warner Bros. cartoons that shocked me when I saw what their real counterparts looked like. Here are just three of the most surprising ones for me.

Tasmanian Devil

“It is characterized by its stocky and muscular build, black fur, pungent odor, extremely loud and disturbing screech, keen sense of smell, and ferocity when feeding. The Tasmanian devil's large head and neck allow it to generate amongst the strongest bite per unit body mass of any extant mammal land predator, and it hunts prey and scavenges carrion as well as eating household products if humans are living nearby. Although it usually is solitary, it sometimes eats with other devils and defecates in a communal location. Despite its rotund appearance, the devil is capable of surprising speed and endurance, and can climb trees and swim across rivers.”

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Five Things I Learned I Rarely Answer

I have prided myself on being able to answer almost any question someone asks me honestly. Of course there are just some things you don't need to know about me if we've just met or if you're just a nosy ass mofo. But in the few relationships and the friendships I've had there have been questions where I either didn't want to answer or know that there was no correct answer to.

I came up with these Five Things I Learned I Rarely Answer based on my own personal experience with people I know that consists mostly of lady folk. Some of them will seem really obvious and some will seem harmless to you but in the long run can create even more questions I won't wanna answer. I have enlisted the help of Bugs Bunny for this.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Kids These Days 19

Seriously. What’s going on with the world? There are a bunch of videos with kids stabbing themselves in the hand while singing The Knife Song which was created by this dude named Rusty Cage which also happens to be one of Soundgarden’s best songs. Now, when I was little in the film Aliens the android (spoiler alert from the past!) Bishop plays a “game” where he held someone’s hand down and jabbed a damned knife in between the fingers, picking up speed like a psycho. I have to admit it looked cool and we all tried it.

Here are the lyrics to the game.