Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Dante Vs. Nature 80


Hello, creep. Hey, boneface crawly bug. You think this is cute, huh? Fuck this thing. You all know that me and nature have a deal: I stay away you stay away. This thing decided that it wanted to look like the personification of human death so fuck it. This is a caterpillar that becomes the Pink Underwing Moth. Cool name, dude. Probably made by the same person that created the name of a fly and an orange. A lot of blank stares, “um...”, and finger snapping. It can have wings up to six inches in width which I don't like. At all. I like my bugs being less than two inches. When they start passing that they are now a nuisance and try to look weird or do cute shit to distract me. Or get pink shit growing on it. “I'm just a cute butterfly!” it cries. No! I saw you when you was a baby. It is like when people marry someone and they find out they had surgery only after they have a baby that looks the same upside down and backwards.


And guess what? It's from Australia! Oh, surprise of surprises! The place where even the trees scream to ward off humanity. They are endangered so I guess I should pretend to care. Nah. Most weird insects will look like snakes, birds, or other animals to scare predators away. This one was like “I'm gonna look like a man's skull. Yeah. That's my plan.” Nope. So much nope. If I saw this shit in nature (which means I am terribly lost, peed stained, and sweaty) I would shit myself so hard it'd cause physical pain.

Click here for previous Dante Vs Nature

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Just Talking With Dante Episode 43



In this episode I ramble about what I've been up to, hanging with friends, talk about cheap ass pillows, a day laborer being forced to bone down, a woman hitting her husband with a frozen pork chop, a gravy covered pervert, and listen to some ratchet ass songs sent by Jasmine. Click here for previous Just Talking With Dante.