Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Rosscast Episode 198: Randomized Nonsense

In this episode I talk about food, going to work and why I’m so happy about it, a new trend where idiots are dying the whites of their eyes colors, Anita Hill dealing with Clarence Thomas’ crazy ass wife, and answer some very funny listener questions. Click here to download this and older Rosscast. Click here to check out me and Alex’s other podcast The DNA Show and click here to check out listener and poet Josh Smith’s show. Enjoy!

Monday, October 18, 2010

"Doom Mates" Episode 68: "The Beatdown"

Death is sick of everyone in the house and everyone is sick of him. No one knows how to resolve any issue without violence so that's exactly what happens. So fights? Who wins? Who cares?!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

"Doom Mates" Episode 67: "Fake It"

Death gets help from an unlikely source in his quest for respect while in fear Dante pretends to be harder than he actually is. Jason decides to see how this one plays out.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Rosscast Episode 197: Almost Famous

In this episode I talk about my week, the problems with unemployment, why I don’t want to be famous, celebrities breaking up all of a sudden, a creepy ass service that calls and tells you that they love you, a shooting in my neighborhood, a dude getting arrested and saying the opposite of what you should say when being arrested, Alicia Keys having a baby, my new podcast with Alex called The DNA Show, the good food I’ve eaten (click here to see), and I play a clip of Josh Smith speaking about celebrity. Click here to download this and older Rosscast shows and click here to check out Alex’s original blog. Enjoy!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

"Doom Mates: The Movie"

No, its not an actual movie. Its a trailer for a "Doom Mates" movie that will never happen. I just felt like making one for the hell of it. Hope you all like it! Jigsaw is back for revenge! With the help of Damien, Ross, and even Death, Jigsaw has vowed to destroy Dante once and for all! Will Micheal, Pretty Ricky, Delvin, and Jason be able to stop him?

Saturday, October 9, 2010

"Doom Mates" Episode 66 "I Yam What I Yam"

Dante is tired of the yam between his legs and wonders if anyone in the house can help him in this "The Office" themed episode. Also, Death is tired of being disrespected.

Dante Used To Cry

I’m not an uncaring unemotional monster…most times. There have been a few films that have either made me cry like a little bitch or get damn near close. Here is a list of films that had an emotional impact on me. I don’t know what it is but certain films manage to hit a certain area of my brain and make me feel all ladylike. Some of them may confuse you so I’ll try to explain each one and save a shred of my dignity.

“Transformers The Movie”

This is the cartoon movie, not the clusterfuck starring a bunch of people that are blackholes of acting. I played sick when I was a kid to stay home and watch this on Ch. 13. I sat there cheering as Optimus Prime flew through the air taking out Insecticons and beating the piss out of Megetron. This movie is amazing and I was all over it until…Prime died?! Oh, my God! I lost my shit! I cried like a little bitch so hard. Don’t judge me.

“An American Tail”

Now this cry fest was more about timing. My family was broken (like buh-row-ken!) at the time and there’s that scene where Fival starts looking around and his entire family is gone and he thinks they’re dead and…my eyes started burning and I just started wailing. Of course no one consoled me. I just sat there crying in my bitchassness.



So many people hate this film. I love it. Its just so damned sad. There is a scene where a son meets his father who he has been ignoring and has based his entire career on mistreating women because of his fathers behavior and how he left the family so the son grew up angry and…yeah. He meets his dad and hates him even as his dad is dying and it almost made me cry. Almost. I was like, “Fuck, this is gonna be me in a few decades…” with my own father. Minus the tears.

“John Q.”

Goddamn you Denzel. This movie is about a father doing anything to help his dying son. Every single person in that theater was crying except me but I was so close. I had to give myself a mental ass kicking to stop it. And then there’s a scene at the end that is so fucking touching everyone lost their minds! I was like “No! You cry and I swear I will run crotch first into the stove!” The look on everyone’s faces in line when we all left the theater was priceless. I almost wanted to say “This is not how you wanna spend your Friday night, people.” We came out that theater looking like we stepped out a Holocaust shower.

“Antoine Fisher”

Double goddamn you Denzel! This is one of the saddest damn films ever. I refuse to read the book because its supposed to be even ore depressing. The scene at the end where he goes into the house and sees the food…(blubbers) Oh, man. Anyone that has seen this movie knows what I’m talking about. Shit’s deep, son!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Biggest Asshole

In almost every film and on every TV show there is an asshole. There is someone there that is there just to antagonize everyone and be a general dick. But there is also a likable dick. There is the guy that no matter how much of an ass he is he makes you laugh or you’re just entertained by him. I have graded them on a scale of 1 to 10 on my Asshole Level. Here is my list. Who’d be on yours?

William “D-Fens” Foster “Falling Down”


It all started with a man stuck in traffic and ended with rocket launchers, gun fights, and explosions. Foster is an asshole but he’s also the everyman pushed to the breaking point. He literally gets to a point where there’s no going back. I love the guy, but he’s still an asshole.

Asshole Level: 4

“You think I'm a thief? Oh, you see, I'm not the thief. I'm not the one charging 85 cents for a stinking soda! You're the thief. I'm just standing up for my rights as a consumer.”

Les Grossman “Tropic Thunder”

Oh my god! This guy has maybe close to ten minutes of screen time but he is likely the biggest asshole you may ever see in a film. No matter who he is talking to he will talk to them like they’re the dumbest bastard he’s ever seen in his life. There is not a single good quality about him…except he made me laugh.

Asshole Level: 8

“First, take a big step back…and literally fuck your own face! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I will fuck you up!"

Ryan O’Reilly “OZ”

Now this one was hard. There are a lot of assholes on this show but finding one that was as evil as this guy and just plain sneaky was easy. Who else would be so in love with someone he cant have that he would have her living husband murdered? O’Reilly would. Who would use their brain damaged brother to commit the murder? O’Reilly would.

Asshole Level: 6

“Yeah, I learned the alphabet the hard way. DEA. HIV. IOU.”

Alonzo Harris “Training Day”

This guy was a dick. He was cool as fuck though! Alonzo put his trainee through hell. A day that included murder, smoking sherm, theft, harassment, assault, multiple attempts on his life, and worst of all, having to babysit while Alonzo fucked his girl on the side. This guy managed to be a terrible asshole yet charming at the same time.

Asshole Level: 10

“Now what are you doing out here? You know this is a gang neighborhood? Then don't come down here again. I catch you down here again, I'ma take your vehicle. I'ma make you walk home. I'ma let the homeboys up the hill run a train on your girlfriend. You know what a train is, don't you? All right, thanks for your cooperation.”

Buddy Ackerman “Swimming With Sharks”

This guy was such an asshole that his assistant held him hostage, tortured him with paper cuts all over his face (including his tongue) and having hot sauce and lemon juice poured on the wounds. Even while being tortured he was able to manipulate his torturer. This guy was magical.

Asshole Level: 9

“No offense to you, but you are just an assistant. Now, granted, you're my assistant, but still just an assistant. Dawn, on the other hand, is a producer. Her car phone bills are more than your rent. So, just how far do you think you'll get?”

"The Crappening"

A little back story on this one. I made this a couple years ago after seeing that terrible M. Night movie "The Happening." Spoiler alert: Its about plants making people stop whatever they're doing and just kill themselves. Lame, right? I just saved you 90 minutes of your life. I have redone the music and brightened the film since when I first made it it was very dark.

"Batman: Angry Knight"

Once again Dante has to deal with having Batman living with him and being an asshole. Will he finally stand up for himself?

Monday, October 4, 2010

"Prettier Than You" Episode 4

Pretty Ricky is back once again to answer your viewer questions. Let's see if Njeeeri manages to piss Ricky off again!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Rosscast Episode 196: Fuck A Bully

In this episode I talk about Obama wanting to extend the school year, good and bad teachers, the guy who owned the Segway company dying on one, a girl getting hazed in college, kids killing themselves for being called gay, and beating bullies asses. Click here to download this and older shows. Enjoy!

Dante & Camille Goofing Around

This is not a Rosscast. A long ass while ago Camille and I recorded some audio for a summer reading program. It had to be one minute long. We couldn't do that. We ended up singing, laughing, and jacking up the script. This was fun and eventually we ended up getting it right. I had so much fun doing this.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

"Doom Mates" Episode 65: "For Those About To Rock"

Pretty Ricky is tired of Damien's constant growling so Death comes up with a plan to stop it. Dante's worst fears for his penis are also realized.