Sunday, January 31, 2010

Rosscast Episode 123: There's Only One Of Me!

In this rambling ass episode I talk about the Grammy's stinking, porn being too rough for me, the tooth fairy paying too much, advice for women from men (and me), and I give a State of Dantania address with a list of things to not do anymore (including taking pictures of friends at the club). Click here to download the Rosscast or click here to subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Rosscast Episode 122: Fix Up Look Sharp

In this episode I talk about yahoo dating advice, bubble wrap having an actual holiday, what are deal breakers in relationships, David Beckham having his dick grabbed by a reporter, and other random nonsense as always. Remember to tell a friend about my show if you like it, Erf. Click here to download the show and click here to download it through your iTunes. Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"Doom Mates" Episode 25: "Getting The Job Done"

Rosscast Episode 121: Jury Of One!

In this episode I talk about leaving jury duty, teen pregnancy rising, the perfect woman, dirty 3D glasses, end of the world movies, eating people, and Gary Coleman not being able to stay out of trouble. Click here to download the old way and click here to describe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Rosscast Episode 120: Going Commercial!

In this episode I talk about cereal being way too damn expensive, homemade lotion being needed, commercial and product slogans being misleading or dangerous to our health, the last episode of Conan O'Brien, and the mayor and governer ruining Los Angeles. Click here to download the show or click here to subscribe and download through iTunes. Enjoy!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Rosscast Episode 119: The Book Of Dante

In this episode I talk about okcupid experiments, kids, teen drama sites, people treating pets better than humans, and Claire from "Heroes" dating old ass men. Click here to download the old way or to subscribe with iTunes click here. Enjoy!

"Mind Bullets"

Video Blog 2 "Raining"

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

"Doom Mates" Episode 24: "Play A Little Game"

Rosscast Episode 118: Babble Factory

In this episode I talk about gay marriage, "Bad Parent Of The Week", Conan going away, drinking, not knowing how to date yet, Lady Gaga sucking hard, the rain of the century, and hooker news. Click here to download the old way and click here to subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

New Obsession

Once again my goofy ass is getting obsessed with famous people. You all may recall my Celebrity Spank Bank parts 1 and 2. I be liking famous people for no damned reason. Well, besides the fact they’re hot. This time I decided to write about three chicks from three very different walks of life. One is a singer, the other an actress, and the last a porn star. Somebody pray for me. Or not. Whatever

I’m not a huge fan of her music but I do like watching her videos and looking at pictures of her. She’s fucking cute. I do like her song “So What” and that video for the video “Stupid Girl.” The first time I even looked at her and my pants got tight was when I saw “Lady Marmalade.” I was like, “Whoa. When the hell did Pink get that cute?” Caught me totally off guard. Anyway, Pink is fucking cute (yes, fucking cute is a good thing) and I’m trying to find as many pictures of her online as I can.

Vanessa Ferlito
This chick was in “Death Proof” which I have yet to see. I saw her recently in “25th Hour.” I know there have been other things I’ve seen her in but can never remember but refuse to look her up online for more information. She is cute in the same way Fairuza Balk is. Its this certain look she has that makes me warm for her form.

This is the porn star. I have been finding a lot of movies with her. Movies. Hell. Scenes. I have seen quite a few scenes with her in recent weeks and I’ll be damned if she doesn’t have a perfect body (for me). I know my friend Alex would die if she hit on him while I would scream like a little girl and do a dance that would hurt the world’s feelings. And she looks nice. Like, personality wise. She doesn’t look bitchy. A lot of porn stars tend to look like they’d be mean f you met them. Pinky doesn’t. And she has the kind of thighs I would flip vehicles over for.

"Doom Mates" Episode 23: "Murder Fail"

Rosscast Episode 117: Darknesses!

Welcome back, everyone! In this episode I talk about Black myths (men), a ghetto tour that could end with your death, that goddamn "Pants On The Ground" song, ten things you should never say to your boyfriend (or me for that matter), and my weekend. Click here to download the show the old way or click here to download Rosscast through your iTunes. Enjoy!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"Doom Mates" Episode 22: "Dance With The Dead"

Rosscast Episode 116: "Cum Covered Cruise Ship"

In this episode I talk about the cougar cruise being cancelled, the big ass earthquake in Haiti, $2 million dollar blowjobs, Prop. 8, explain the Christian side hug, people spitting in China, and kids being kicked out of school in Beverly Hills. Click here to download the old fashioned way. Or click HERE to download my Rosscast straight to your iTunes! Just check on the page and click the subscribe to iTunes button. Enjoy!

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Dark Knight: "Anger Management"

Rosscast Episode 115: Unfuckably Delicious

In this episode I talk about dating sites and why I am bad at them, celebrity photographers getting hit by cars, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien drama, wondering why I'm not getting boned right now, my weekend, and why folks were wearing their draws on the subway. Click here to download this and older Rosscast shows. Enjoy!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Rosscast Episode 114: Check Tha Vocab!

Guess who was finally able to get the best woman in the world on his show? Me! Thank you. Next question. In this episode me and my best friend Cam talk about our top five favorite hip hop albums, movies, books, first kisses, Indian guys, LOL's, and too many other things to list. And just so you know, at the very beginning we are talking about a Spanish film she rented called "Mirage Man." Remember to click here to download this and other Rosscast episodes. Enjoy!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Search Continues...

“The County of Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department and the City of Los Angeles Police Department will join forces for a major field search of the greater Lost Hills/Malibu Canyon area on the morning of Saturday, Jan. 9, for the Watts woman who disappeared after being released from the Lost Hills Sheriff’s Station on Sept. 17.”

Today my friend went hiking in Malibu and said she saw a ton of police looking for a missing woman. I hadn’t heard about any recently missing women in the past week or so and just tossed a guess out that it was this chick I’d heard about last year. Like, months ago. Surely they couldn’t have still been searching for her?

Indeed they are. Mitrice Richardson went missing after being released around 1am on September 17th. That’s a long ass time ago. It started when she was at a restaurant in Malibu and could not pay her bill ($89). The employees also reported that she had been behaving strangely. Talking to random customers and such. The cops come, find a small amount of weed in her car, and arrest her.

The stories are conflicting as to the events that followed her arrest. The police say she was offered the chance to stay there until night outside of her cell. She refused and left never to be seen until this day. There have been some sightings of her reported a while ago of her sleeping on someone’s porch but nothing really since then. When she was let go she didn’t have her car as it was left in Malibu. She also didn’t have her I.D, a phone, or any money. Pretty shitty situation.

It was also reported that she suffered from mental health issues. The stories about this case are flying all over the place. Being Black means of course that race is being brought up with the belief that if she were White that more would’ve been done to look for her. The fact that she was in Malibu which isn’t known as the Blackest places in the state. "What the Sheriff's did to my daughter is criminal and it could happen to yours" her father has been quoted as saying. He believes that the arresting officers need to be investigated into his daughter’s disappearance.

This is a fucked up situation all around. But one theme I have noticed from reading about this story on numerous blogs is the race issue. Yes, she is a Black woman. But that should not be the primary focus. What’s important is her being found. The LAPD has turned this into a possible murder investigation. Is she dead? No one knows. And sometimes that’s way worse than knowing. Click here to donate to the family of Mitrice Richardson or to read about her story.


Friday, January 8, 2010

Rosscast Episode 113: No Babies Allowed!

In this episode where I talk about Tila Tequila, Gary Coleman and his busted ass liver, doctors jacking folks up with cars, and listener questions. Laugh as I try and explain why I'll never have kids, who I'd beat up living or dead with the big boot, and why I don't like hockey. Click here to download this and older Rosscast shows. Enjoy!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Living Room Wrestling: "House of Fire"

LRW Champion Season Premiere has been challenged by Stepdaddy for the last time! "House of Fire" is coming next week!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Rosscast Episode 112: Damn G-Spot!

In this episode I answer a bunch of listener questions and ramble about Mariah Carrey's drunk ass speech, whether or not the g-spot actually exists, idiots dying from inhaling helium, and what TV show I would like to put myself into. Click here to download this and older Rosscast shows. Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Rosscast Episode 111: Where Am The Poleeses?!

In this episode I just felt like babbling. I rant about Octomom, shitty White House security, an old man losing his mind in Vegas, food with religious things in them, and shooting folks, and funny 911 phone calls. Remember to click here to download and even embed to your sites this and older Rosscast shows. Enjoy!

Stone Cold Fuck Nuts

When I first started writing this blog I used to write about more stories like this. I had to do it again for this fucking loon. This is Bayron Reyes Lopez. My spell check hates his first name. This guy is what most doctors and therapist would call “stone cold fucknuts.”

This goofy bastard killed this lady Julie Donnelley’s pet dog, Kokanee. She was going for a walk at 6am (bad idea) when this crazy mofo ran up to her. The dog got in front of her and this dude decided that he would beat the shit out of the dog. He eventually ran off and was found butt booty ass naked covered in coffee and water at the Rancho San Clemente Tennis and Fitness Club where he worked as a maintenance worker.

The police suspect that he was under the influence of drugs. Gee, ya think?! You can only hope that someone who beats a dog to death at 6am for no fucking reason is on drugs! They say that just hours before this happened cops were looking for him for playing loud music in his house. Oh, he lived right across the street from where he attacked the dog. He’ll be facing animal cruelty charges which means that he’ll be back on the streets before I finish writing this blog.

A somewhat happy ending to this though. A shelter gave the family a new dog that looks just like the one that died. Smiles! Now this is where I ask the question: What the hell needs to happen to this guy? I’m not an animal nut. I’m not one of those people that value the life of any animal more than a humans. I’m not even sure if there’s a spot in Heaven or Hell for animals. Is there a gerbil Heaven? But this dude shouldn’t be allowed to roam freely. What punishment would be good for him? Fuck rehab. Look at that picture and picture him behaving as a functional human being ever again. I don’t know what he was on but shit must’ve been new. This is what happens when you smoke them moon rocks.


Monday, January 4, 2010

Rosscast Episode 110: Nasty Sumbitch

In this episode that should've been a hilarious reunion between me and Kiyoshi before my program decided to cock it up I talk about Warren Beatty banging 13,000 chicks, porn being way too rough, chicks making sexual rules, and why I dont feel like my real first name. Click here to download this and older Rosscast's. Enjoy!

Saturday, January 2, 2010


Everyone once in a while I’ll say something that someone wont understand. I’m not trying to be difficult. There are just some words I prefer saying or using repeatedly as not to waste more time than necessary to get a point across. As you all know, I don’t enjoy the whole talking thing you people are so fond of.

A while ago Hazel said “Dantictionary” to me and I was like “Hmm…” So I have now decided to make a list of things or phrases I say pretty much daily so you know just what the fuck I’m talking about when we speak or write.


Alright: good or good enough to move on. “It looks alright. Now let’s try this.”

Asshat: someone being stupid for the sake of being stupid. “I tried to have a normal conversation with her but she wanted to be an asshat.”

Aww: used when I am complaining. “I cant see your ass? Aww!”

Awkward: when a situation or statement causes discomfort. “His fly’s open. Awkward…”

Ahh: used when something finally makes sense. “Ahh, so that’s what that smell was.”

Awesome: used a lot to describe most situations I find pleasing. “Those are the most awesome thighs ever.”


Bastard: used as an insult or term of endearment. “I like that bastard. He’s cool.”

Boo: usually used when I don’t get what I want. “What do you mean you cant talk? Boo.”

Bitchwich: combination of bitch and sandwich. “Don’t be such a bitchwich.”

Bitch: used to describe a irritable man that complains. “Stop being such a bitch, bitch.”

Bah: used to voice displeasure or end a particularly bothersome conversation. “Okay, damn it. Bah!”


Craptacular: something that is spectacular in its crappiness. “Wow, AVATAR looks craptacular.”

Crap: used in response to what I am doing. “Oh, I’m doing crap right now but earlier I was busy.”

Cock: someone that is being dickish. “He’s being a total cock right now.”

Crapaliscious: food that is thought to look tasty but tastes horrible. “Cheese and broccoli is very crapaliscious!”

Corny: when something is old and played but still used. “’Thug Life’ tattoos are too damn corny.”


Dude: used by me constantly as either an adjective, verb, or noun. “Dude, this dude jumped and hit his head and I was like ‘Dude, you suck.’” and “Dude!” in conjuncture with an oncoming vehicle.

Der: used to describe a dumbass or point out obviousness. “Der, really? I’m Black?!”

Don’t: used as a one word response to something that may be said and done in a deep strange tone ala Saturday Night Live skit. “Is she says she loves me all I will say is ‘Don’t.’”

Dick: used in same way as bitch. “Don’t be such a dick, dick.”

Delvin: my actual first name. “Yes, my name is really Delvin. Let’s accept it and move on.”


Ew: in response to a nasty statement heard or action witnessed. “Ew, stop talking!”

Evilyn: rarely used term to describe an evil woman. “She got all Evilyn on my ass.”

Ex: former girlfriends. “Yeah, my ex. No, the other one. The one with the…yeah. Her.”

Excited: overall feeling of joy where I cant sit still. “I’m like a kid on Christmas I’m so damned excited!”


Facehole: used to describe multiple orifices in your face. “I wanna stuck my tongue in your facehole.”

Fruit: term for gay men or women. “I knew the kid from Small Wonder was a fruit when I was little.”

Funkbot: a person that is consistently smelly. “Every time I see that funkbot I know to hold my breath.”

Fool: someone that is smarter than they are exhibiting at a particular moment. “That fool is really a genius.”

Fatbody: someone who is unaware of their fatness. “He is a total fat body wearing them skinny jeans.”


Guuuuh: exclamation of a nasty surprise. “I went into the patients room and he had his catheter hanging out and I was like ‘Guuuuh!’”

Great: usually said sarcastically. “Oh, more Top ramen for dinner. Great.”

Gayness: used to describe something a man does that is usually done by women. “I am aware that the fact I know how to pluck a woman’s eyebrows is the gayness.”

God: used when shocked by something said or done. “God, and what did you say after that?”

Grabby: used to describe someone very touchy; tends to be followed by long nicknames. “Okay, Ms. Grabby McTouchtouch.”


Hobag: an older slutty man or woman. “When I’m single I am gonna be such a hobag.”

Hotness: used to describe an attractive person. “She is so the cute but she still needs to respect my hotness.”

Honk: sound made when touching a boob. “Honk! Hahaha!”

Hey Now: non offensive term used usually when something sexy is said on accident or when looking at a cute photo. “What did you say about eating more meat? Hey now…”

Hrrm: when left with nothing to say for a moment. “And she did what? Hrrm.”


Ignint: when there is not enough time to say ignorant. “Look at this ignint ass crossing the street when the light is red. Hope he get his ignint ass hit.”

I’s: slave speak. “I’s is gonna fix this fo’ you real good, massuh!”

I Don’t Care: when I really don’t care. “I know we have a Black president and I don’t care.”

Interesting: very rarely used term when something is good and different. “I met this chick yesterday night and she was very interesting.”

Intriguing: when something or someone makes me want to be around it or them more for unexplainable reasons. “I found her and the way she spoke to be terribly intriguing.”


Jackoff: someone that is being difficult for no reason. “The bus driver was being a total jackoff because the change machine wasn’t working like I broke it or something.”

Jerk: term used to describe someone that is being mean unexpectedly. “Jerk!”

Jesus: used to state surprise at usually bad news. “Who died? Jesus…”

Justice: shouted after a wrong has bee committed. “Know what happens now? Justice!”

Just: used with hand gestures to explain something. “And he was all pissed off and I was like ‘Just…’ while I showed him what to do.”


Killswitch: term used to describe my crazy button. “Play some damn Sade and I will not be responsible for my killswitch being engaged!”

Kidding: after a joke is said that is not intended to be taken serious. “I love your mother. Kidding…”

Kicked: a threat usually aimed at someone that does something silly. “He keeps it up and he’s gonna get kicked in the neck.”


Love: usually screamed when happy and hugging someone. “Ooh, love!!!”

Like: said far too often for being a grown ass man. “I was all like, ‘What?’ and he was like ‘Naw.’”

Lookit: said when complementing someone. “Lookit you, man.”

Lameness: told to people that are behaving in loserish fashion. “She was acting the lameness last night so I left.”

Lick: used as a threat against people I like. “I swear I will lick you if you don’t stop smiling.”


Meh: said when I just don’t care. “Dante, vegetables are healthy for you.” “Meh.”

Mofo: cuter way of calling someone a motherfucker. “That is one bad ass mofo.”

Manboobs: used to describe my chest during junior high. “Man, I miss my manboobs right now I’m so horny.”

Mammies: used to talk about breasts. “She had some big mammies but I’m not into those so much.”

Manspace: a term for the space I need for my genitals. “I was trying to get some man space on the bus but this fat dude sat next to me.”


Nope: usually the response to a question concerning leaving the house. “I swear you didn’t hear me say nope but I ain’t leaving the house.”

Negroliscious: used to describe me on a particularly good looking day. “I’m looking eleven kinds of Negroliscious today!”


Oh: said when I finally get it. “Oh, that’s what you meant.”

Ooh: said when someone is in trouble or I see something I like. “Ooh, look at them legs.”

Ogre: said when describing myself at clubs. “Sometimes I just sit in the dark like an ogre and watch folks.”

Oh. My. God: used when very surprised by something. “Oh. My. God. She ain’t wearing no draws.”


Pussified: used to describe a man that has been immasculated. “You see his pants and that shirt? He is totally pussified.”

Pussbot: someone that is acting too scared for the situation. “Don’t be a pussbot. Just jump.”

Prettified: used to describe a girl that looks better than usual. “Look at you all prettified.”

Punkass: something that is unwanted. “get that punkass carrot off my plate.”

Poon: female genatalia. “This porn stars poon looked like an alien.”


Quit: used as a final resort before attacking someone. “If you don’t quit I will bite you.”


Rosscast: my show you all ignore. “Check out my latest Rosscast!”

Really: said after something that didn’t need to happen just did. “Really? You just did that. Really?”

Rough: used to describe bad feet. “His feet were way rough like he ain’t ever used lotion!”

Right: said when something is not believed. “You finished that? Right…”


Shit: said when something is too hot, cold, or painful. “Shit, is this water from Hell?!”

Sassy: an accusation used when someone is being smart mouthed. “Oh, this is when you wanna be sassy? In church?”

Sassified: like prettified but with an attitude. “Ooh, she being all sassified because that dude she likes is here.”

Snazzy: term used to talk about someone looking good with lots of accessories. “She showed up looking all kinds of snazzy the day before.”

Shoot: wrestling term for real. “That guy is shoot crazy. Don’t fuck with him.”


Titty balls: breasts. “She got some big tittyballs.”

Threatibility: the ability to look threatening without any action being taken. “I don’t need credibility when I got threatibility.”

Tubetop: a magical piece of clothing I threaten to wear to church, weddings, and family gatherings. “Keep it up and I’ll bust out the tubetop.”


Ugh: used to quickly express disgust. “See her legs? Ugh.”

Uh-huh: faster way for me to respond. “Uh-huh. I understand.”

Uh: when I am at a lost for words. “Uh…”


Vajayjay: a woman’s crotch. “Her vajayjay terrified me.”


Weirdo: term of endearment. “You know I like you, ya weirdo.”

Wow: said when at a loss for works. “Its just like…wow.”


I say nothing with an X. Sorry.


You: said before threatening someone. “Oh, you…”


Zeus: the main god. “Fuck around and watch Zeus get that ass.”