Kids These Days 80

A couple of days ago I was talking to my friend and randomly we started talking about Hostess pies and I remembered that there was a damned pie based on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. My parents weren't the make a lunch with a nice dessert kinda parents so when there were new candies, cereals, or snacks I tried them. Ask me about any cereal available in the 80's or 90's and chances are I ate it. I was powered by sugar, salt, and chemicals that are now banned in many countries. “Hostess Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pies: One of the rarest TMNT food products was made by Hostess from 1990-1992; it was the 'Hostess Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pie' - with a green glazed pie crust and 'Vanilla Puddin' Power' inside. A commercial for the pies featured all four turtles, performing a rap song with the memorable line, 'Fresh from the sewers to you!'”

They were not lying. These things were from the sewers. I was not a picky kid when it came to sweet shit. If the package was bright enough I would consume it. But these...these were not good. The green glaze was just regular ass Hostess glaze but colored green. And that “Vanilla Puddin' Power” tasted more like custard. Hostess custard. That had been sitting on a shelf at a liquor store waiting for my parents to grab one to shut me up because if there was some new food I would bitch until they got it. I know that there have been some movements to bring this back and I am gonna assume it is from people that want to try and and did not actually try it. Keep this in your memories, I say. Most of the shit I ate is like the stuff I watched. I only remember He-Man being He-Man and kicking Skeletor's ass for a minute until the credits came on. I don't think of the 21 minutes of boring ass story before it got there. You remember a sweet, TMNT themed snack and not the bubble guts that followed.

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