The residents of the kingdom parted
like a sea as the Unbruised and Serf walked through the streets.
Their voices would lower until they were completely silent. The last
thing anyone wanted was to be overheard by a stray Lobe. The Serf
could not even begin to hide their nervousness at being given the
task of accompanying the Unbruised to track down and return with
Peraticus. There is not a kingdom that does not know the tales of
Peraticus. Granted, many of them sound untrue. Then one finds out
that they aren't. The truth is far worse than any tale you could
imagine.
Peraticus once destroyed a small
village with a stick. Turns out it was five villages and a small, new
kingdom and that he used the headstone of the previous king as a weapon.
Peraticus once lifted a horse over his head to prove his strength. He
actually lifted it and ripped the beast in half with his bare hands
because he'd step in its dung. And it was his own horse. No one felt
too bad though. Frankly the horse was a monster and only functioned
as a way to get Peraticus to locations faster so that he may wreak
havoc.
Just as the Unbruised and Serf reached
the gates a horn was blown in the distance. The Unbruised sighed
lightly and it turned to face the castle. The Spider Princess stood
in the window and nodded for the Unbruised to continue.
“May I speak openly to you?” it
asked the Serf. They paused, looked at one another, then slowly
nodded. “I am not sure why I ask. None of you will be coming back
with me. Oh, do not pretend to not know this. The Spider Queen wants
me to bring back the most dangerous being in the land. Peraticus is
mad. Clearly mad. I once met him when I was but four moons and three
suns old. He could not have been more than 10 moons and nine suns old
at the most. There was a fire burning. Beautiful fireplace owned by
the former king and queen. You mention any of this to anyone and you
will die eleven deaths.”
The Serf nodded. Dying eleven deaths
was an actual event that could occur. A mad wizard named Gala had the
ability to raise the dead eleven times. Gala was pronounced Gah-Lah.
Not Gay-Luh. Someone made that mistake and is now forever frozen in
place and currently faces the corner of Gala's bedroom holding his
hats. No one liked Gala except for the Spider Princess. Hmm. Perhaps
liked it too strong of a word. Politely tolerated his presence. That
sounds better. Either way the Serf got the point.
One poor knight name Airy was killed
ten times as punishment for looking at the Spider Princess for a
moment too long. In his defense, he wasn't actually even looking at
her. He was looking at a Serf near her that may or may not have been
his missing sister. Airy was never the same after that. More than a
few times he has been found wearing the bottom half of his armor and
screaming into the moat on hands and knees. But on the bright side at least he can tell
you what happens when you die. So...cheers to that.
Many have said that Gala is so angry
and bitter because he has actually seen the end of time. He will not
tell anyone what he saw, including the Spider Princess, but whatever
it was enraged, saddened, and pretty much bummed him out. He was
enragadummed. He was asked what he saw and replied “If I told you
what I saw you would run face first into a wall of spikes.”
The Unbruised continued.
“Peraticus walked to this fireplace
and without any hesitation stuck his hands into the flames. I wanted
to rush over to him and yank his hands out. But me being me I would
have been stopped if I made the slightest of movements towards him.
Guards grabbed him by the shoulders and he laughed as his very hands
were on fire. Of course he was not hurt. The guards were. He pummeled
seven of them to death with his flaming hands. He looked over to me,
winked, and dove from the window. The queen then explained to me that
Peraticus, though not immortal, was extremely hard to hurt let alone
kill.” One of the Serf stopped in front of the Unbruised, wishing
to speak. “Yes?”
“Will we be eaten by Peraticus?” it
asked.
“Likely” the Unbruised said. The Serfs heads' dropped. “Come now.” the Unbruised said as it lay a hand on the Serfs' shoulder. “Some things are worse than being eaten. Just ask the Spider Princess' mother. Such a boring task finding a mad man. Why not send Emorata?”
Emorata is known as The Lord's Blade.
Which lord? It doesn't matter honestly seeing as no one in the
kingdom is free to worship anything other than the Spider Princess.
There is that small period of time during which the Spider Princess
will venture out and some are brave enough to worship the statues
that represent gods no one speaks of anymore. Emorata will appear
during those times and spin tales of a time long ago where the
streets were loud with the laughter of children and cheers when the
king and queen of years gone by appeared.
Not the, you know, king and queen that
we never speak of.
Ever.
Of course no one believed a word that
Emorata said. They should though. Emorata never lied. Never needed
to. Emorata was insane, yes, but not a liar. She never needed to
because she feared nothing. Not even Peraticus and everyone feared
Peraticus. Emorata was quite dark in skin tone and on rare occasions ventured out during light and if you happened to see her and not the other way around you would be surprised to see that her skin was a beautiful purple. Then you would be surprised at how fast she moved and even more surprised at the amount if time you could live with your insides on the outside of your body. There is even a story of when she fought Peraticus to a draw. I
believe they both fainted from loss of blood which is rather odd
since one never really quite knows when Peraticus is done bleeding.
Speaking of which.
***
Peraticus was busy turning a beautiful
small pond red as he washed the blood off of his armor. The screams
of the village had finally died down meaning he could relax. He
dipped his red hands into the water and looked at them. Yes. Still
red. Because he was. Meaning he was red skinned. Peraticus was thin
but very muscular. His shoulders far wider than they had any right to
be with long, dark brown hair that usually hung over his face. His
smile made the young cry and the elderly collapse. Everyone in between
would run or hide.
Peraticus suddenly spun and threw a
blade. A Serf yelped in pain as its ear was pinned to a nearby tree.
Peraticus jumped nude from the water and landed in front of the
terrified Serf. The blade was yanked free, the Serf collapsed to the
ground, and tried to breathe as a foot was pressed to its chest.
“Message!” it gasped. “I have a
message! Don't kill me, sir!”
“The fact that you still live means I
am far more tired than I suspected” Peraticus said while removing
his foot. His voice betrayed his appearance. He looked like a demon
to most but had a very smooth voice when calm. “That was meant for
your eye.”
“I have a message” the Serf
repeated.
“From?”
“I...I'm not sure” it said.
Peraticus placed his foot back on the Serfs chest. “There is word
that the Spider Princess is looking for you...”
“Sounds like work” Peraticus said
as he stomped one last time, crushing it. “I am not a fan of work
nor am I against it” he said to the lifeless corpse, tapping his foot on what used to be a rib cage. “But...its
something to do for a bit. At the very least I will have a chance to
converse with the Unbruised. That thing intrigues me terribly.”
***
Peach In The Sun is quite unattractive
but the absolute nicest creature you are ever to come across in this
desolate place. She is from a land where nothing grows except for the
sorrow of the souls unlucky enough to have been born there. Peach In
The Sun was once worshiped as a goddess until Bilious and his small
army raided her kingdom in the name of the Spider Princess. Since
that day many stars ago she has been a source of joy in anyone that
crossed her paths lives in that they are secure in the knowledge that
no matter what may befall them they shall never look as bad as Peach
In The Sun. Oh? Bilious? I'll get to him soon enough. I just started talking of Peach In The Sun and now you want to know about Bilious.
The Spider Princess sat overlooking her
kingdom. She knew the Unbruised would not be returning any time soon
and decided to “mingle” with her population. See her with her
arms crossed and her unblinking black eyes staring off into the
distance? It does not get any more mingle than this for the Spider
Princess. Peach In The Sun stood nearby awaiting orders. Nothing too
strenuous. Often times the Spider Princess would simple tell Peach In
The Sun to look at a flying beast so that her hood would fall back
revealing her face.
It's the small things.
“You miss your home?” the Spider
Princess asked.
“Yes” Peach In The Sun replied
softly. Oh, the voice was so sweet! “Do you?” The Spider Princess
turned to face the darkness of Peach In The Sun's hood.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
she asked. Peach In The Sun managed to turn her five pumpkin height
into two as she shrunk away. The Spider Princess grabbed her by her belt and held her firm. She was far stronger than she appeared. “Are
you saying that this is not my home?” Peach In The Sun remained
silent. “Fine. Let's see if Internecine can get you to speak.”
Peach In The Sun pulled away from the
Spider Princess and leapt to her death many floors below to the shock
of those in the kingdom that happened to be nearby. The Spider
Princess looked at three nearby Serf who all quickly fell to their
knees and crawled to her so that she could stand on their backs and
look at the body of Peach In The Sun. No one dared touch it, not
while the Spider Princess watched. Peach In The Sun is dead. Good
thing I didn't spend much time telling you the long and unfortunate
but thoroughly entertaining tale of how she got her bizarre name and
why she appears to look the way she does. Too bad for you, really. It
is quite an amazing story.
***
Jikininki is the monster that other
monsters tell stories about. I know, I know. It sounds ridiculous.
That is until you see it and if you happen to venture within its woods
you will. There is no might or maybe to it. Jikininki has its own
woods and gleefully hunts and kills within those woods. Many a lost
traveler has spent days lost and delirious throwing stones at shadows
thinking it was Jikininki. Chances are it was. Jikininki likes the
shadows that it is somehow able to hide in considering its bright
gray skin.
Jikininki is eleven pumpkins high and
can weigh no more than six hens but is terrible strong for such a
thin framed thing. Its long wispy hair obscures nothing as they are close to
translucent. Some say that it is a sultana that lost its way in the
woods many suns and moons ago and is cursed to haunt the forest. Some
say it is a swain that died during a great battle in the woods. No one is
quite sure which it is. Its true sexuality isn't really all that
important anyway. Its a monster that scares other monsters. The last
thing you or anyone else should be concerned with is its gender
identity. I personally believe it to be female based on the epicene
tone of its voice. But I could be wrong.
The number of Jikininki is believed to
be just the one in this forest. The forest is not named nor is it
marked on any map. If you were to look at a map the area the forest
occupies is a darkened spot so really it is rather marked. Just not
detailed. Don't go into the dark spot on the map. Some go to the very
edge, usually on a dare or to test one's virility. Don't do this
either. Jikininki is not bound to the forest. It just prefers to stay
there for some reason. Many foolhardy villagers have been snatched
where they stood daring to prove...something.
Jikininki watched as a Serf hesitantly
approached Peraticus. It watched as the Serf got far closer than most
have. Peraticus is not known for letting anything get this close
except for his horse and we all know how that ended. Jikininki
watched Peraticus miss killing the Serf and licked its lips as the
Serf was crushed under Peraticus' foot. No hunting tonight. So the
Spider Princess needed Peraticus? Interesting. Jikininki wondered if
this had anything to do with the incredibly large wagon that was
attacked by Southers a few moons ago.
Do not ask what a Souther is.
Jikininki waited until Peraticus was
finished washing blood off of skin that looked like blood and
immediately snatched up the body of the Serf. Jikininki climb a tall
tree and began to eat the Serf, not enjoying the meal but not quite
hating it either. To Jikininki a Serf tasted like a great meal with a
disgusting sauce. Jikininki wondered for a moment what Peraticus
would taste like. It lasted a moment because any longer than that
would be a foolish thought and Jikininki is not known for foolish
thoughts.
***
Many moons ago Ocelot discovered
something rather peculiar throughout all kingdoms. It was this: if
you continually told people a large truth often and usually unasked
chances were that they would believe you to be a liar. Its rather
genius when you think about it. Ocelot, ever since he was but two
pumpkins high, would tell everyone that he could get any information
he wanted from anyone with little to no effort. Some say it helps
that his eyes are mirrors. No, not any magical mumbo-jumbo regarding
his eyes being a window to ones soul. His eyes were mirrors.
Dozens of villagers and military men
have been tried, convicted, and killed for failing to be able to
accurately describe Ocelot's appearance. Due to his eyes they would
invariably end up incriminating themselves. His eye color is the same
as yours. Along with his hair, height, and skin color. It was rather
infuriating to many innocent villagers who as they were being fed to
the wet bears proclaimed their innocence. Many times Ocelot stayed to
watch. He found it funny. Ocelot “works” as a spy for the Spider
Princess. He mainly does it to occupy time between wars and ever
since the king and queen went “missing” there has not been much
free time to occupy.
“That little spiderling sends me to
find out what her gift is and the damned thing is gone” Ocelot
muttered to himself as he sat in the middle of a forest carving an
arrow. Ocelot never shot arrows. He just found the act of making them
relaxing. Realizing he spoke aloud he searched around for any Lobes.
Finding none he continued. “What is the point of ruining your own
surprise? Just...be...patient.” Ocelot was known as being one of
the most patient beings in all kingdoms. He once stood in the middle
of a city painted gray for so long that he was believed to be a
gifted statue that no one could remember arriving. It was stupid but
done to prove a point. What Ocelot did not enjoy was wasted time.
Arriving late to find a gift that was on schedule because he himself
was told of the gift late was not fun. “By the forgotten gods, one
day I will-”
“I am here” a voice in the wind
said.
“Nuh-GAAAdaH!!!” Ocelot shouted as
he jumped to his feet and clicked his heels together producing
blades. “Who goes there?!”
“Sorry to have frightened you” the
voice said as a figure slowly emerged from the bushes.
“Nothing frightens me” Ocelot said
in his most convincing voice.
“You appear extremely frightened”
the voice said.
“Why would I be frightened?” Ocelot
asked.
“Because I am Bain-Marie, silly boy.”
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