There was one time where I had to stop
a guy that was gonna jump from a building. It was in downtown Los
Angeles and 58 floors up. If he jumped when he hit the ground you'd
have to use a sponge to clean him up. Me? I'd just giggle and head
home to smoke pot or touch myself privately because my lady, Ronica,
thinks that watching porn when you're in a relationship is dirty.
She's a prude that way.
Oh, right. The jumper.
So the police call me right after lunch
and say that someone is gonna jump. I ask if he asked for me. They
say no, but that they know he'll be up there for hours if they try
and get him down. I shit you not, they said that. This is when it
sucks being a superhero like me.
Johnny Panic.
Voted Sexiest Man
Alive even before I was legal.
So I fly up to the top of the building
and there this guy is. He looks about my age. Okay looking. Not
attractive enough for women to throw their draws at but okay. Could
dress better. Pants are about two sizes too big. Shirt is ill
fitting. Shoes out of style. Maybe that is why he is so sad.
