A month ago I got rid of the porno couch. I cal it that because every porno film worth its salt has a large, black leather couch in it. Why? Easy clean up. Ew, right? So for years I’ve been bitching about this monster, saying how I want to finally ditch it. I got it a while back along with another smaller porno couch. It came through the door easily. My brother, his friend, and I had to lift and pull it through my second story window as the gay bar watched and cheered.
My friends kept telling me to just shove it out the window and be done with it. I said I’d have to get drunk. Also, I imagined me tossing it and the damned thing landing on someone’s head. So I called some junk movers and they came and shoved it out the window. Yes, I paid to have someone shove it right out the window. I’m glad to have it gone and my living room is larger which makes me the happy. So, goodbye, porno couch. You were hard to keep clean, I got tired of shining you, and I never got to film myself boning on you.
