Five Things I Learned About My Wang

I am a man. I have a penis and everything. I've had the chance to use it every once in a while and the results have tended to be unpredictable. It can be the best thing in the world or the absolute worst. When the moon is full and the stars align and Cthulhu stirs in his sleep it needs to be touched by a woman or the next best thing...me.

Now as the owner of what I have nicknamed “The Hospitalizer” I have learned a thing or two about how to take care of it. Sadly, even after three decades of ownership I have to download a new manual because every so often it will do something unexpected and require some sort of maintenance. Here is a list of a few things I have learned while having it.